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September 1, 2020

Dear Baby Girl, here are the Things I will Teach You.

 

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Dear baby girl, here are the things I will teach you.

 

I will teach you about the first time I heard your soul 

asking to come into this world

to come into this world with us.

 

I will teach you about the night you were born 

at the exact time and pace of your choosing 

into your daddy’s arms as the tears and love flowed

how the dawn rose just as you opened your eyes 

and how in that moment you chose your name.

 

I will teach you about your dad and me 

how our love bloomed slow 

and how we danced with each other’s shadows 

long before we danced in the sun.

 

I will teach you about the loves I had who didn’t love me back 

or who loved me in the only way they knew how

but not in the way that I needed

I will teach you how it can take a long time to admit it’s time to leave 

especially when we want it to work so badly. 

 

I will teach you that you are worthy of the greatest love 

a love that supports your life of full self-expression

a love and life that guide you to uncover all the truths inside of you

a love and life that are just the right balance of work and play, or grace and grit

a life and love that light you up and let you dance to the beat of your own drum 

no matter what that dance looks like. 

 

Dear baby girl, 

I will teach you about the light and the dark that live inside all of us 

the feminine and the masculine 

the linear and the non-linear

I will tell you how there are more ways to move through life  

than the directions society gives you

so so many more ways.

 

I will teach you about finding your work in the world 

how it requires you to find yourself first 

and how there is no rush or timeline or map you need to follow to do this

actually it’s better if you don’t have a map at all

just trust the compass in your heart.

 

I will teach you about my work in the world 

how I thought I needed all the papers from all the institutions 

when all I really needed was a foundation of trust, hard work, and following my intuitions. 

 

I will teach you about the being that made a brief home in my womb one year before you did 

I will tell you how we healed after that loss to make my womb your home when it was time.

 

I will teach you about all the times I made my voice small 

so as to avoid bumping into the insecurities of others

and about how I found my full voice again.

 

I will teach you about your voice 

how important it is that you use it and never make yourself small 

even if you don’t always know what you’re doing

especially when you don’t quite know what you’re doing.  

 

Dear baby girl, 

I will teach you about your nana and her flowers 

how the simple things in life are often the most healing.

 

I will teach you about your great nana and her flowers

how her garden healed our whole family 

and embodies the unconditional love of caring for one another.

 

I will teach you about the uncle you will never meet 

and how he died by the hand of his mind

but how his heart was so bright we will never stop feeling its glow. 

 

I will teach you about all the emotions that live inside of you 

about the fear and the courage

the shame and the pride

about how to keep a home for all of them in your heart. 

 

I will teach you about your inner world

and all the ways I might have let you down that are asking to be healed. 

 

I will also teach you that I am sorry

I will teach you about my shame and fear 

and about all the ways I might have or might still let you down

I will teach you about the importance of letting these truths be told too 

 

Dear baby girl, 

I will teach you all of these things and more throughout the course of our life together 

but most of all, I will teach you that you are loved 

that all of who you are will always be welcome here 

and that you will always have a safe place to land with me. 

 

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