”You have 5 years until you have heart failure.
Either you choose immediate surgery or you chose death. What will it be?”.
The words that are still to this day, unforgettable.
There in the Cardiologist office, my whole life would never be the same again.
I would never be the same again.
How is this even possible, I’m fine, I’m absolutely fine!
Yeah so maybe I’m always the first one to catch a cold, I’m always exhausted and rather be in bed all evening after I finish work. I’m just tired, work is stressful!
Maybe I’ve noticed I can’t drink on nights out as much as I used to, almost a twang in my heart saying ‘Help I’m too weak, don’t drink anymore!’.
”Your Mitral valve is severely leaking, your heart has doubled the size from working so hard pumping, I’m afraid we need to do a open heart surgery as soon as possible”, my surgeon would tell me.
Me?? What? It’s not possible, I’m fine!
This is crazy, this is surreal. So you want to break my chest bone open, leaving me a scar for life, while you stop my heart and keep my body alive via a machine to try to fix my heart?
I can’t believe it.
After my meeting with my surgeon I went back to my car and cried my eyes out.
I’ve never cried so much in my life, I literally cried my heart out.
That was the one and only time I ever cried over the situation. It was time to toughen up. Never once, did I say why me, never once did I complain.
My friend who was studying Holistic Medicine at Kingston University at the time said to me, “I didn’t want to tell you this but, the reason you have this is because your heart really broke so bad in your life”.
Was my major break up when I was 20, the catalyst for my severely leaking heart?
It was the worst break up, my first break up, my first love. I was depressed and took so long to heal and all that stress on my heart, could it be my heart really ‘broke’?
Take care of your heart.
Sadness is temporary, why break your own heart for a temporary sadness.
Maybe hearts really do break, but like anything that breaks, it can be fixed to become that much stronger.