Re-introducing basic rituals as self care

It has been a while since I’ve written anything of use and there has been a reason for this. Our family has been impacted with recent bereavement caused by failings in the system.

It had been a tough year mentally already. I know I’m not alone and neither is my family. The suffering has been real for many. In fact, do the difficulties ever really stop? I feel like I’m hopping from one stepping stone to another with flames of fire in between each step.

My last  post was about the joy and hope that my garden was giving both myself and my partner. It gave us something good to focus on in between the daily life struggles. We were even taking things up a level and going for daily walks and just really looking at our surroundings. The trees, the corn fields, the blackberries, the elderberries, the Hawthorne bushes and even the nettles.

We were feeling really present with the changing seasons. It was like a form of meditation and grounding. Like children upon discovering life. It has made me think that perhaps that’s the key – to experience the little things. All to often in life we focus on the big things. The big holidays, the big milestones, the next promotion, the next pay rise… the next big thing!

I felt this wonderful sense of wellbeing and gratitude. Getting into this rhythm of surroundings and realising joy was on my doorstep. No driving anywhere as everything was around me. Even my work was something that I could do at home and adapt the hours to suit a lifestyle. This is not something that a lot of people have the opportunity of achieving – the rat race, large bills, rushed with busyness. It was a nice balance to hit.

However, the past two months have not been genuinely nice. I also have my second son going to uni and while I am immensely proud of him, it was an unexpected decision of his and obviously another great life change is about to occur.

I’ve still been pottering around the garden but the joy of the joyful harvest felt tainted by the bitterly sad news. I didn’t want to write a blog sooner because I guess my self care at times is to withdraw and process and that’s what has happened, sometimes writing is better with hindsight or it is more how I prefer to do it. My conclusion has been that right now and to help control my medical condition (which has been controlled so well for the past 5 years) and avoid a spiral down that it is time to put in the self care measures. Time to get grounded. Putting a routine in place just like we do as mothers for our children. Early bath time, soothing drink, early night in clean surroundings and ready to wake up refreshed. Similarly in the morning. Enjoy the day break, bring in the milk bottles, washing in the machine, cup of tea, breakfast slowly. Then time for that little grounding walk which includes just walking around my garden to see what is going on and harvesting for the day.

Today’s harvest:

Sunflower heads

corriander

viola

The last of the raspberries

Swiss Chard (yummy and currently my favourite)

Dandelion leaves

Spinach

Chamomile

Thyme

Sage

My plans today will be to, put sausages in the slow cooker with the sage and the thyme, sip chamomile tea, make a jug full of smoothie, a salad bowl and later fry up the spinach and swiss chard to eat with the sausages.

 

Self care isn’t always sinking a bottle of wine (although I do enjoy doing that), it’s not always what we immediately think of having our luxury treats. I guess sometimes self care is getting ourselves back into balance, sleeping better, eating better, looking at our routine and bringing in some basic rituals. Basic rituals can become easily lost in busyness and prioritising. I think it’s about remembering how to treat ourselves as we would our child and not like some forgotten afterthought.

 

Rituals are something I’m working on right now and I’d be very interested in any rituals or tips that you yourself might have.