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February 18, 2021

4 Ways to Honor our Vulnerability & Respect our Space in Relationships.

Over the past year, we have spent a great deal of time living a totally different existence compared to what we may have been previously used to.

We’ve been shaken up, twisted around, and turned upside down emotionally.

All of a sudden, we have been forced into spending an unusual amount of time with our nearest and dearest. I, personally, think this is a good thing. It has taught me even more about my own journey—where I needed to repoint my compass—and what I need to be doing to get myself there.

How has it been for you?

When we spend so much time with one person, the novelty can begin to wear off (I’m certainly not speaking for everyone) and more often than not, the relationship can become a strain.

All too often, we start seeing flaws where there aren’t any. Or maybe there are, but we just called them cute habits before. We recognize our differences and question our compatibility. In fact, we start to question a lot.

If things have become strained in your relationship, how can you honor your vulnerability, be raw, and at the same time R.O.A.R.? Feel free to growl—it comes with the territory.

Let’s look at four ways we can achieve this:

R: Respect

Are you respecting yourself? Ask yourself that question. Are you honoring your voice, or are you keeping quiet hoping that you will keep the peace? Believe me, holding in your truth won’t last forever and, eventually, it will rise to the surface and show itself in a variety of aspects—and some may not be pretty. This could take years.

If you have something to say, say it. Ultimately, this is one of the truest forms of self-love and respect. Take time to meditate on how to communicate for the best, for all involved.

Sit in silence and notice if what you need to say is coming from the heart. Are you reacting or are you responding? Journaling is good to do until you get your answer.

If you feel you can’t speak your truth to the person you need to speak to, I invite you to make a recording on your phone of what you want to say; this can be uncensored because once you have said it, you can delete it. Similar to writing a letter and burning it, it releases a huge weight of unwanted energy.

O: Openness

Do you know the person you are with? Do they know you? This time of closeness can be extremely revealing. I have my own stories on this one for sure. This could be the perfect time to reveal it all. When we are living with untruths, it creates a weight not only within us but within the relationship too.

If we are living with someone who we intuitively know is hiding something and we keep pushing it aside—hoping that one day they will say something—well, that can create its own strain.

Use this time wisely to create a safe space for openness like never before. What does that look like for you as a couple?

A: Acceptance

One thing is for sure—this time has been one of great change. Not just in our external world, but in our own personal internal worlds too.

If you are a truth and growth seeker, you may have had a great opportunity to use this time for self-growth and discovery; to get to know yourself better. You may have done this alone; you may have done this as a couple or a family. It’s also a time when we become aware of our differences.

We are all on a different life path and we grow at different rates. We can’t drag the other person along with us—kicking and screaming—if they are not ready for the change.

Self-growth is personal (the clue is in the name). So if you have found this to be the case, please—for the sake of your soul and for the whole of humanity—don’t hold yourself back from your own personal growth because of someone else, and don’t hold anyone else back either. Sometimes the best thing we can do is move on.

Let me grow or let me go.

There is never a better time than now to be the butterfly of transformation. The one who has broken free from the chrysalis and is standing bold and bright in all their truth and light. Do it for you.

And finally (drum roll, please).

R: Responsibility

Take responsibility for your actions. Whatever is happening around you, you have your part to play; whether you are conscious of it or not. Pushing responsibility onto someone else doesn’t take away the problem. In fact, when we do this it not only creates disharmony but also shows that we are unable to make a change or understand the other person’s point of view.

This would be another article in itself, and of course, it works both ways. It may be that the person you have been living with continuously pushes away any form of responsibility and may repeatedly put the blame on you. These waters can run deep and into a greater set of problems, so I invite you to go back to step one and look at respecting your own inner voice and truth

The body is a great messenger when something isn’t quite right. I usually get a deep dull weight in the pit of my solar plexus. For you, the tell-tale sign may be different. This is your intuition, so listen to it—it speaks the truth.

All too often, we push away these silent signs, but believe me, they don’t stay silent for long because they begin to manifest as dis-ease.

So before they do, take note and be a happier person for it.

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