I have recently become aware of how many voices run through my mind—most of which are not my own.
My true voice is lost.
Many of you may feel this too—the many thoughts shifting through our minds every day—and in moments of silence, we may stop to realize that we cannot hear ourselves. It becomes difficult to live successfully when our knowing and our true selves are lost.
I feel a great disconnect within myself—a feeling that there is something more and something greater that I could be.
Do you ever have this feeling?
Diving into this uncomfortable feeling of disconnect, I began reading and researching others who have been through this experience—in the hopes that they could offer me guidance.
What I discovered is that we all have a knowing, an inner consciousness, a voice within us. We are born understanding ourselves, but we are taught to distrust this instinct.
We are conditioned to second guess the little, knowing voice within ourselves—this breeds people who are lost. We are always turning to the community around us to know what to do with our time, lives, career, money, and relationships. Every action we take begins to be birthed from a notion of other people.
How crazy is this? How in control are we?
For some, the flow of what people tell us to do works. For some, they do not feel that deep itch within them, a sense that this doesn’t feel right. For me, it is driving me insane; it makes me want to run away.
I have stopped myself many times—mid-fantasy of burning my current life down—to realize I am here, but I need to be there.
A quote that always pulls me back to reality is Jon Kabat-Zinn’s words: “Wherever you go, there you are.” This always strikes a chord with me. Even if I burned my current life down and ran away, this restless feeling would remain.
I have to start with the inner me.
The first step to rediscovering our inner selves, and our inner knowing, is to become acquainted with ourselves again. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Nice to meet you.” Discover new likes and dislikes. It is so easy—especially during this time—to numb everything out and live through other people. We need to break this cycle and actually start living.
I’ve wasted so much time wanting to be different, but never making the change.
I can’t offer you any promises that there will be a miraculous light at the tunnel or that this journey will be fun and easy; see, I’m probably at the same place you are—just beginning.
I’m on step one.
I can promise you, though, that it will be worthwhile.
The first exercise to finding ourselves again is to do something completely new and out of the ordinary at least once a month. Some ideas are horseback riding, ballroom dancing, taking hikes in different locations, and making candles. These are things I have never, or rarely, done.
What are the things you always say you want to try but never do?
Find those, write them down, and start doing them.