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February 17, 2021

I’m Selfish—& I’m Done Apologizing.

Lashing out at others with the word “selfish” is just as bad as assuming someone’s ex is a narcissist.

Why do we think looking after ourselves is wrong?

If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re relying on others to do the necessities for us, and, ironically, this is selfish.

Do you feel like you’re always the one to reach out? Do you feel like if you ever stop asking how people are doing, they’ll just forget about you? Is it selfish if they do, though?

We all have battles that we go through in this life, and we’re all doing our damnedest to make sure that we can get by. Is it selfish to be strong for ourselves first when that’s who we walk with every day?

It’s okay to think about ourselves sometimes. We are inevitably left alone, and there, we will ultimately discover our own value.

Putting ourselves first sometimes might seem selfish, but it will make it easier to battle through our own loneliness, stop questioning our worth, and stop using others for validation.

To those who have called me selfish:

I won’t apologize for the amount of times I answered your calls.

I won’t apologize for the opportunities I gave you.

I won’t apologize for thinking of you before I thought of myself—when I was also suffering.

I still feel like I let you down.

I was never enough, and I could never be enough because what you asked for was more than what God could give you.

But, I wish you well.

I wish that you become selfish, too.

I wish you know that you are beautiful.

I wish you come to the realization that you are worth more than the experiences that you have endured.

You do not need justification for your own spirit.

It is your spirit, and only yours, that will carry you to where you need to be after all.

~

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