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February 24, 2021

When Life F*cking Sucks: A Call to Rise Up as the Whole Damn Fire.

*Warning: some naughty language ahead!

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The thing about motivation, willpower, self-control, and optimism is that they aren’t always there.

We don’t have these in abundance; in fact, they are limited resources. These are the fuels that keep us going, and sometimes, we do run out of them.

There are days when a feeling of meaninglessness creeps into my cozy blanket of dreams and hopes, casting a dark, brooding cloud of doubt all over me.

There are days I wonder: what’s the point of doing anything at all?

Some days, it becomes hard to ignore what’s really troubling me, and I just can’t keep my optimism hat on. I feel drained, unmotivated, and lazy; just like all of us do.

Yet, we look upon these states as something we need to run away from. Why can’t we feel lazy? What’s wrong with feeling unmotivated or lacking willpower at times?

What’s wrong in admitting to ourselves that, perhaps, life isn’t as rosy as we would like it to be?

Let’s be honest here, life can be a bitch sometimes—a pain in the ass.

There are days when you feel like your life is a movie titled The Myth of Sisyphus. Your role in that movie is to take a meaningless boulder atop a meaningless hill, only to have it roll all the way back down.

There are days when you want to punch a hole through a damn wall, because some things are so fucking unfair.

I have realized that no matter how evolved, wise, or patient we become, life will come up with 100 different ways to knock our asses down.

Sometimes, all the self-help stuff does feel like bullshit.

Sometimes, it’s not even about giving up, it’s about not doing anything at all.

Yes, there are pretty rainbows and unicorns—in our head!—and then, sometimes, there’s incessant rain. Sometimes, no matter how stupid it may be, you want to scream at the clouds for raining down on you so hard. And, that’s okay.

I have realized that—no matter how hard we try—sometimes, it’s not enough. And, it’s okay.

No matter how much you know, you will always be clueless about something. And, it’s okay.

You will think you know people well, and they will surprise you in shocking ways. That’s how you learn.

I have realized that the only person who’s got your back is you. You can and will have cheerleaders in life; but, it’s your race, so you’ve got to run.

It’s your battle; you’ve got to fight.

It’s your life; you’ve got to live it your way.

I have realized that time is always running, and we are always running after it. The moment we close our eyes, the present is gone.

Today, right now, this moment, is all we have. So, carpe diem; seize the day, my friend.

I have realized that human relations are as strong as they are fragile—handle with care. I have realized that everyone is here to take dibs on the other’s life; but don’t let them. It’s yours—only yours.

You fight, you survive.

You evolve, you thrive.

I have realized that we all run from pain; so we need to choose life. We need to survive and thrive.

I have realized that no one can tell you what your life “should” be like. It is already yours. You just need to own it.

And, you can’t own life partially. We don’t have to dwell on the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that center around our lack of self-control, willpower, motivation, and hope. Yet, we don’t have to run away from them to such an extent that the entirety of life becomes about running.

Some days, the car runs out of fuel.

Some days, the lack gets the better of you, and it’s okay. It’s all a part of being human, isn’t it?

Why run from it?

“It’s okay if you fall down and lose all your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.” ~ Collette Warden

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