2.5
February 8, 2021

Dear Empty-Nest Mom, Don’t Grieve. This is Your Time.

It makes me sad to see so many empty-nest moms dealing with depression, sadness, and feelings of loneliness because their children grew up and started living their lives.

So many are actually blindsided by this fact of life. They do not want to admit that this time is coming.

“What will I be if I’m not a mom?”

Some women actually feel grief after their children leave the nest.

Reality is that so many women lose their own identity when they become moms (I know, I was there myself).

It’s not their fault. It’s the society we grew up in.

I was born and raised in Eastern Europe, watching generations of women in my family give up their identity to be “the perfect mom” society expected them to be.

Most of us empty-nest moms were raised thinking that in order to be a good mom and a wife, we must put our family first…always first…no matter what.

We were taught to give, give, and then give some more.

We were told that making ourselves a priority is a selfish behaviour and comes at the expense of our children and spouses.

I would like to have a chat with the one who came up with this pile of crap.

No wonder so many women lose themselves in the role of a mom. Do everything for and with their children. Raise them while putting who we truly are on the back burner…for one day.

So many moms live through their children. Isn’t that sad?

They lose their passion, stop pursuing their hobbies, disconnect from friends, then wham—in a blink of an eye, children are all grown up and leaving.

What now?

Well, if we were “selfish” as mothers and made ourselves a priority, that wouldn’t be a problem, would it?

Why?

Because we would still be our “own” person besides being a mother with passion, interests, hobbies, and a plan for the next chapter in our lives—a plan that we were actually excited about.

In this scenario (and this actually could be your life if you make the choice), we would know that this is not the end.

This is the beginning of something new and amazing. We did our job, and the fact that our children are moving out on their own is a sign of a job well-done (pat yourself on the back).

This is a brand-new chapter for our children. Next and exciting chapter for us.

Moms, it’s time to fall in love with being alive again.  

This is your time. Let little birds fly. Let them figure out this big world on their own, and live a life that inspires and excites you.

Your children did not ask you to give up your identity; they do not want to see you sad and lonely because they decided to live their life. You made that choice, so don’t put it on them—don’t make them feel like they are the reason for your sadness.

Live your life to the fullest. Choose joy and happiness instead of tears and sadness.

~

 

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Bibiana Bailey  |  Contribution: 335

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