I’m taking this time for myself.
The patchwork quilt of my life needs a little mending,
A little close-eyed focus,
A little love and attention.
I watched with pride and
Brought a soother to her mouth.
All by herself.
It might not be much,
But it was a “first.”
And I didn’t miss it.
Because I wasn’t looking elsewhere—
At what He’s doing
I was looking at my little girl
God knows where.
I’m not saying that I don’t get it—
It’s a connection to something other than yourself.
Bigger than yourself.
But, for me,
It’s a connection I now realize
Everything that matters is in my home—
My comfy, eclectic living room,
The trees that shade our yard,
And our sweet baby girl.
I looked at social media and I felt compelled.
Compelled to share.
Compelled to follow.
Compelled to virtually invite strangers into my sanctuary.
I don’t want to share that with anyone.
I don’t want my sweet girl on display.
And I don’t care what you’re doing.
Or that if I like,
You can teach me how I can do it too.
All I need
A realization has come over me.
That’s not the right word.
We all have—
A limited time in this life.
On this earth.
Limited time with
And it is fleeting
Blink and it’s gone.
I can’t be bothered to waste another minute,
Immersed in my own life.
I will watch with full attention
As my daughter grows,
And my dog turns grey.
I will be fully present with my husband
As he tells me about his day,
And we talk about
I will dress in my most beautiful clothes
Not for anyone to see,
But because in them, I feel beautiful.
I will experience daily gratitude
And I won’t once think to pull out my phone
Fearing that if I didn’t post it, did it even happen?
I’m done with seeking validation to my life.
If you need me,
I’ll be sitting with my husband
Drinking a smooth, red wine
Watching our daughter and dog play
In the grass.
In the sunshine.
But you won’t be able to find me.