March 29, 2021

I’ve Finally Realized that I Don’t Need a Relationship to Feel Whole.

 

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A post shared by Pietro Tenuta (@maniacodamore)

I’ve waited my entire life for you.

It wasn’t until you came into my life.
It wasn’t until you showed me the way.
It wasn’t until you believed in me.
Until you loved me.

It wasn’t until you understood me.
Until you cared.
It wasn’t until you accepted me—
Supported me.

It wasn’t until you encouraged me,
And inspired me.
It wasn’t until I looked into myself and found you.
Because you are actually me.

And it wasn’t until I found me that everything before now was nothing at all.

I’ve spent my entire life searching for my true love—
My soulmate, the one I’m supposed to be with.
Only to feel completely lost.

Each relationship had me question myself.
Each relationship had me question the world.
“Why wasn’t I enough? Why couldn’t I find the one? What was I doing wrong?”
Each relationship left me broken more than the one before.

I was afraid to be alone.
I worried what the world would think if I wasn’t coupled up.
The thoughts swirled in my head of walking through the streets,
While people whispered what a sad person I must be.

I was busy searching for someone because I thought that is what I needed to feel whole.

I took any scraps someone would give me.
And I clung to them for dear life.
I accepted less than I deserved, every single time.
I was desperate for love any way I could get it.
Each attempt at love failed miserably—
Every relationship had me feeling empty and alone.

Then one day, I stopped searching, and I looked within.

When I looked within, I found unconditional love and complete acceptance.
I believed in myself.

I finally understand.
I feel cared for.
I am courageous and inspired.
I am enough.
I am whole.

As I am everything I have ever needed.

~

 

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