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April 24, 2021

10 Things I wish I could tell my 20-Year-Old Self.

This new year has brought Goddess energies within me.

So, I’ve decided to pen down not-so-few words of wisdom to my 20-year-old self (and my sisters in their 20s who need to drop everything else and read this at once). 

Well, here they are:

1. Don’t be so nice to people. 

They’re going to call you a b*tch if they don’t get what they want, or you stop giving them what they wanted. I’ve always felt so unsettled when the balance tips, when relationships break. But freeze your blood—heat that godforsaken knife, and slice that toxic thread. I had this habit of wiggling my way back into people’s lives (even if they weren’t good for me), but not anymore.

You shall not and should not feel compelled to sugarcoat your words—ever. Emojis can be substituted with full stops. That’s how we originally wrote.

2. It’s okay to be bitter when people try to invade your space. 

Draw your limits. Leave them on blue. Come back and talk when you’re free, or don’t talk at all.

Hearted by

3. Put your foot down and say no. 

After almost 30 years of procrastination, I’m learning this. The other day, I watched a Bollywood movie called “Indoo Ki Jawani.” One character’s (Indoo) friend talks about men and their desperation to “mark their territory” (“Jhande gadhna,” to use the precise Hindi phrase).

The friend makes Indoo, the spirited girl from Gaziabad, watch and imitate an actress from a B-grade film because, apparently, that’s the only formula to lure men. (Not.) Astounding to see such movies still make their way up to the top of the charts.

4. Don’t give yourself away too soon. 

It could be daddy issues, exploration, excitement, peer pressure, or just desperation. I don’t want to tell you to wait, but I will tell you to be aware of who “enters” you. Don’t let the fingers of just any other guy pinch your tender nipples if you’re not ready. 

5. You are in charge of the energy that penetrates you.

Ancient Indian scriptures often talk about a girl’s “purity,” and in a world of equality, we always react with a, “So, what about boys?” Well, God has positioned us at a much higher energetic level. We must be in charge of the energy that penetrates us. That energy leaves a trace into our being. Making love is a sacred exchange of energy.

6. Sleep instead of chatting. 

The latter will only give you a migraine and dark circles. Don’t reschedule; don’t compromise; don’t adjust. This doesn’t mean act pricey. This just means do your own thing. Read, dance, take a solo trip. Don’t seek validation. Not from friends, not from boyfriends. You’re all alone on this boat. The faster you realise that, the better it is for you.

7. Keep secrets. 

If you think it’s good to be an “open book,” don’t complain if people soil your pages like the corners of an old cinema hall. Treasure yourself. Don’t let random people scribble and doodle on your pages.

8. Don’t post too many pictures. 

And if you do, cleanse the energy around you with sage and meditation. This I’ve learnt too late in life, but when you post something on social media, it’s up for all kinds of people to see, and you end up attracting opposing energies in the process.

9. Choose your words wisely. 

Sharpen them; hurl them, if you must. The pen is mightier than the sword. But also keep a sword handy, just in case.

10. Emotions withheld for too long are like an autoimmune disorder. 

Your body wages war against itself. Blurt them out, but also know where to keep quiet and swallow your anger. Pay attention to yourself. Your mental peace matters more than anything else. And believe in affirmations. They always come true.

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