Caregiver fatigue is real and so is Pandemic Healthcare fatigue – healthcare workers have been living and working in a battlefield and we need to mourn the loss.

I have just left a touch therapy session “ Bowen therapy”. I have scheduled several different healing modalities over my holiday break.

Driving home the tears flood.

I pull over driving into the park.

Sitting in the sun I write. All I seem to do these days is write, walk and eat.

I’ve been off on holidays from my job in healthcare now for nearly three weeks and I’m still exhausted.
It is a different type of tired.
Sleep doesn’t fix this tired. What does is allowing yourself to feel all of the emotions and let go of the heavy load. This I know. I’ve been working on it .

My adult daughter wisely says “ you can’t take on everything and help everyone.” She says this after I share that I’m concerned about my colleagues. “ Unplug mom she says do the things that you love”  I am doing this and I also need to say this “ I’m concerned about my friends and colleagues here and all over the world”. While saying this I cognitively and spiritually become aware that the armour needs to come off. I agree to allow myself this. So the dam is opened and the tears flood. Healthcare workers are humans and we need to allow ourselves to be human – to feel all the emotions, the full range . It is okay to say how we feel and it is necessary . It is important that we say “ I love you” and to grieve our losses.

At the start of the pandemic I wrote and published a talk on Insight Timer titled “ The Pandemic Sessions – A therapist’s Perspective. It did well and was well received by many all over the world .  I haven’t written much on the topic since and I have been busy working and distracting myself .

Today I listen to my own talk. I am proud of my strength and also shocked at my vulnerability . Sometimes our own words become our own medicine. Writing isn’t a replacement for therapy or healing modalities. It is a gift however that I chose to share. If you need mental health services it is important to reach out .

If you aren’t a healthcare worker and you are reading this please be kind we are all doing the best we can.
No one prepared us for this.

There is no manual for pandemic fatigue I do however offer this prayer. Find a place where you can remove your protective gear and your mental armour and breathe deep as you read. May these words lift and fill your heart, nourishing the soul.
It is a long, long road ahead and we can travel together.

Today I feel the sun as I say this prayer

God, open me up to your infinite love

Give me courage to mend the broken pieces

Let your spirit settle here within my heart

God reside in me

Fill me with your love

Be with me as I work

Walk with me as I tend

When I am triggered by the pain and wounds of others remind me to surrender

Let my hands be your hands

Let my heart over brim with love for all people

Let me be your servant and you alone my God