2.2
May 4, 2021

How Many Tears are Enough?

I held a man in his tears at a water flow massage on Friday night, as I’ve held so many men and women over the years as they’ve cried—as I’ve been held in my tears.

A while ago in my studio, a woman on a healing journey asked, “When will I stop crying?”

Last night, as I held this man, I asked, “How many tears are enough?”

Our tears are expressions of so many things, joy as well as pain.

Openness, vulnerability, intimacy.

The depth, the power of an authentic moment of connection.

A feeling inside of us that is indescribable through words.

Our tears are the expression.

Of gratitude.

Of being seen, being heard, being felt, being acknowledged.

Our tears are part of the language of the heart, the language of the body.

But still, we hide our tears.

Men more than women.

There is shame in our tears, weakness in our tears for so many of us.

As we hide our tears, we hide ourselves—we hide our hearts.

Yes, there are tears of pain, of hurt, of loneliness, of loss, of rejection, of despair, of sadness.

And as I was asked, “How many tears do I need to cry?”

As many as we need.

As many as life needs.

As many as our bodies and our hearts need.

We shed tears for those in our lives who can’t, who won’t.

We shed tears for our parents, our brothers, our sisters, who were too proud to cry, who were too closed to cry, who held on too tightly to cry.

We often carry their tears.

There are times we know what our tears are for, and times we don’t.

Times when our bodies weep in release and we feel the lightness our tears bring.

Times when our bodies weep and are cleansed.

Times when our eyes, our vision—both in the inner and outer world—open to new clarity from our tears.

Times when the emotion within us wells up so large, from a place so deep, that there are no words in that moment, so our tears speak.

Presence—our tears are presence.

In times when we are so open, so intimate, so seen, so seeing, so known, there are tears.

So cry your tears; cry all the tears you need.

And in time, those tears will change. Some pain may never go away; it’s with us every day. There’s no letting it go.

But in time we come to live with it differently. It finds a place within us—a home.

This place allows for joy as well, and for presence in happiness, for appreciation, for compassion, for tenderness.

And our tears change.

So cry all the tears you need.

Of joy and sorrow, of bliss and loss, of gratitude and love.

Cry the tears of your body, the tears of your heart, in the fullness of this beautiful human life.

~

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