Off late I have been thinking alot about the way I have achieved or acquired any experience or entity, for me it has always been about the wait.
I believe to simplify, I have not been among the lucky few who don’t have to go through any long wait or any struggle to get to a place. This isn’t about struggling in the rain to get an Uber back home, it’s about the lessons one gets before actually reaching the place we want.
In every stage of my life till now, I have longed for something or some experience for that particular age, as is normal for any person. However life has always put a test before giving me the best.
All my childhood and teenagehood living in a joint family, I have had to wait for alot of material gains , despite seeing my peers and friends enjoy those. I had longed most for a room of my own, a sanctuary that would be all about myself and my sense of style. How I admired some Hollywood movies which had these fascinating children’s bedrooms and I often imagined how it would be to get my own space. I did get my own space but that was years later when I entered college, came off the age of wanting to decorate my own room with my priceless achievements in school days. But I distinctly remember when I finally got a space for myself I didn’t actually have the same desire as I did for 17 years, instead I appreciated a space for just getting some space for my own thoughts and also a place where my parents could use for their own me time, my mother often has tea there while talking over the phone, my father often organises his work material there.
I believe in the long wait for my own sanctuary, life taught me humility, taught me to make the best of what I had, taught me to appreciate whatever space my parents could give me and make it my own. Life taught me that at the end of the day it won’t matter how amazing my own room was, it would matter what I would do with a space, would I share it? Would I be selfish?
Another memory takes me back to a time of wait before getting my heart’s desire.
I have always always wanted to leave home and study outside or work outside, in my generation it is almost like a second nature to everyone. Leave the nest soon. But out of the good intent of my parents they wanted me around for as long as I could be. So I settled to study and work in my hometown. Made peace with no adventure coming my way, no stories to share , nothing extraordinary to bookmark my life.
My long awaited desire to travel solo and be responsible was fulfilled via my jobs, my profiles were deeply rooted in traveling and I have been so fortunate to have gone to amazing places across some countries and amazing cities in my own country. Although my parents would be afraid each time my flight took off. I was absolutely exhilarated. Finally I get to be on my own, make mistakes, have my own successes.
Waiting for being away from home even for a short while, taught me responsibility and patience. I knew my duty towards my parents and also towards my own growth. Probably if I hadn’t waited I wouldn’t have been able to carry off any responsibility the way I did.
More so now that I am married and settled in a city away from parents, the 28 years spent with them has definitely made a different bond with my hometown. Compared to so many who leave home at 18, I got an extra decade to make memories and that was an extraordinary gift given by life.
There are innumerable instances of wait and want in my life and am sure I will have to repeat this cycle many times in life.
Honestly speaking almost 3 decades of practicing a cycle of patience and perseverance to see most blissful milestones has definitely not been easy. There were days of resentment, hurt, disappointment and self loathing.Days I believed in the core I deserve nothing.
But you know where the magic happened?
After the lows I got such highs, days I truly believed in power of manifestation, believed that let it take years but I know if I truly want something or someone in my life, the universe will help me.
And the universe has, and I am confident that the universe will always be there to aid me in every phase of my life.
So dear someone who doesn’t get anything easily, hold on, have faith, because the universe has your back.