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July 3, 2021

Regrets, Intuition & Emotions: the Lessons we Learn at 40.

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Maybe it’s because I’ve had enough of looking back and realizing my regrets stem from the times I ignored it. 

Maybe it’s getting to the age when my hormones are shifting, and I’m giving less of a damn about what others think and permitting myself to just be more me (the 40s will do that). Maybe it’s that the world is opening up, and it’s time I joined the conversation. Maybe it’s all these things. Maybe it’s something else entirely.

I grew up in a household that denied intuition even existed and categorized anything and everything associated with it as either new age woo-woo fluff or demonic witchcraft (just look at the movies from the 1980s!). I had no doubt in my mind that if anyone ever found out I heard voices or knew things I couldn’t back up with science or hard evidence, I’d either be put on medications or locked away in a psych ward somewhere. As a result, I learned to fear and hide my gifts rather than embrace them.

Over the last few years, though, I’ve made a clear, definitive decision to reclaim my intuition and align my life with it, and I’m not turning back. The challenge is that after decades of hiding from it, I feel like I’m behind in learning what I’m capable of. In an effort to stretch my own understanding and awareness, I decided to risk failure in a very public way.

Testing Myself

Over this past year, I began to wonder: 

Could I pick up information about and for others that could be of support to them, or is this limited to knowing about my own life?

I decided to experiment. I reached out to a few groups on Facebook that were full of mostly strangers to me and asked for help. My offer was simple: send me a question, and I’ll record a response for you. Share as much or as little information as you want. The only “catch” is that after you receive my recording, you share your feedback with me so that I can learn from this experience and gain an understanding of what I can (and can’t) actually do.

I thought I’d get about 10-15 responses. I received over 70! It took longer than I expected to work through them all, but it provided a really good sampling of what was possible.

Some sent a question and nothing more. Some sent a few paragraphs. Most sent something in between.

The questions ranged: relationship stuff, life purpose stuff, wondering what the “right” decision was in a particularly difficult situation, some asked for a message from loved ones who’d passed on, and some even asked about their animals.

The feedback I received was unbelievable—even to me. Overwhelmingly, I was told that I was accurate, and sometimes I’d picked up on information that wasn’t part of the question but confirmed that I was tuned in. In two situations about family members who’d passed on, I was able to relay information that made no sense at all to me but was so specific and unique to that family member that it affirmed the accuracy of what was coming through.

A few never provided feedback, so I don’t know if they didn’t see my response, forgot to let me know, or if something was off and they didn’t know how to tell me. There was one person who let me know that what I’d shared made no sense to her at all. 

I talked with a few other intuitives and psychics and asked about these exceptions.

They said it could be a couple of things: 

>> What came through was information the individual didn’t really want to hear or wasn’t ready to hear. 

>> What came through may apply in the future but not right now. 

What I noticed was that they didn’t question my abilities. Despite the 95 percent positive feedback, I still had my doubts.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know. In fact, for the vast majority of my life, I’d bought into the idea that this world was all there is, and all the “woo woo” stuff was just a bunch of crazy people doing crazy things.

In the end, though, I proved my outdated beliefs wrong and learned several invaluable lessons:

>> My intuition is far stronger than I ever imagined or have given myself credit for. 

This means that I can trust myself far more in every aspect of my life than I’d ever allowed myself to before. There’s a lot of comforts, confidence, and quiet strength in that.

>> Not everything that comes through is what we want to hear. 

And I admit, there was a couple of readings I hesitated to share but decided not to be a filter—only a messenger. It’s not easy, but the truth is what truth is. It can be empowering, though, if we let it.

>> The vast majority of those I did readings for already knew what I told them. 

The reading was an affirmation of what their own intuition was already trying to get them to hear. They just didn’t trust themselves enough, or they had some emotions that were clouding things for them—both of which are normal and happen to all of us at times.

>> Empowerment means building our own intuition and finding trustworthy people who can help provide clarity when the human side is having a bad day. 

In the end, though, we must go with what feels right and best from the inside out and let the rest go. We alone will be stuck with the consequences of the decisions we make. All others are able to come and go, stuck only with their own decisions.

>> Strengthening our intuition is like strengthening any other muscle. 

It takes time, focus, and practice. As we do, our lives become healthier and more joy-filled. It might take effort, and sometimes it can be challenging. But it’s absolutely and totally worth it.

What Does It Take To Develop Your Intuition?

First, assume that you are intuitive. It’s not a matter of if, but of how. Some hear things. Some feel things. Some know things. Some see things. Some have a combination of all the senses that they can’t explain. Take time to pay attention.

Second, learn to allow yourself to feel—deeply. Our emotions are a language that our intuition uses to communicate with us. 

Are you angry? This often indicates a boundary has been crossed. 

Are you happy? This indicates you’re on the right track and to keep going.

There is always—always—a message underneath the emotions we’re experiencing. When we can get to the message, then take appropriate action, we empower ourselves while building a stronger relationship with our intuition. (Here’s a 10-minute meditation you can download for free to make this easy and effective.)

And third, always assume your intuition is correct—even when things don’t work out the way you think they should. It may be that we misinterpreted what our intuition was telling us. Or, it may be that we assumed an inaccurate why.

For example, I know my intuition led me to live at the beach a few years ago. I felt that it would be a healing place to live and romanticized what that would look and be like.

Looking back, it was healing, but the healing that took place involved digging up and working through some painful things. There was nothing romantic or easy about it. My intuition led me to be where I needed to be to learn what I needed to learn. I’m grateful I listened even if my expectations were different from reality. It prepared me well for the next phase of my life.

You Have A Choice To Make

If you want to live a life on purpose, a life that fully expresses the highest and best that you can be and become, develop your intuition. That’s what it’s there for.

It will challenge you. It will demand your faith and your trust—even when it appears there’s nothing to base it on. It will change your life; it will change you.

Most of us instinctively avoid change, but change is the only real constant there is. So why not move toward a life that’s in full alignment with what makes you feel most alive, whole, and worthwhile? After all, what’s true cannot be destroyed, and what’s not true will not last anyway.

Uncover your truth, and discover what you’re really capable of!

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