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What should love feel like?
I bet every person on this planet has asked themselves this question at least once in their lives.
Or, how do you know when you’re in love?
Not all of us believe in love at first sight, but I’m sure we can all agree that love needs a solid foundation to grow and bloom.
I think the important thing to ask is what does healthy love feel like. What does healthy love feel like for me? Is it secure, comforting, accepting?
I’ve put together a list of 26 words from A to Z describing what I think true non-toxic love should feel like for all of us. Here goes:
A – Acceptance
True love should be accepting—of our partner’s good traits as well as their flaws. But we also have to accept ourselves before learning to love someone else.
B – Balance
Love is about balance. This means no unhealthy competition between the two people in the relationship and learning to compromise. Remember: yin + yang. Giving and receiving. It also means sharing home chores (sorry).
C – Chemistry
Without the spark, love is eventually likely to fizzle out.
D – Dependable
We should feel we are able to depend on our partner for support, both during life’s good and bad moments. We should never feel alone in our struggles.
E – Educative
We should learn new things from one another. New skills, new talents, new languages. Relationships are all about growth. Keep learning, keep growing.
F – Freedom
True love should liberate us, not make us feel as though we are chained up. We should feel free to still see our friends and family, and enjoy our regular hobbies. A relationship should never change that.
G – Gentle
True love does not hurt.
H – Happy
If it doesn’t make us happy is there really a point? Sure, not all moments will feel joyful but if we constantly feel like crap as a result of the relationship, then maybe it is not right for us.
I – Inspiring
Love should inspire us: to be better, to do better, and to love harder.
J – Just
Love should be fair.
K – Kind
This one speaks for itself.
L – Loyal
True love does not cheat, it does not tell lies, and it does not hide things that could hurt the other person.
M – Mindful
We should be mindful of our partner’s feelings. And empathetic.
N – Natural
True love should not feel forced; it should feel natural. If you are having to put an act on for the other person, I doubt it is true love. Plus, that gets exhausting.
O – Open-minded
This means considering the other person’s perspective without judgment and accepting new ideas.
P – Passionate
That intense, “I can’t live without you” (healthy) passion. Ooft!
Q – Quirky
Unconventional. It keeps things interesting, different, and unique.
R – Respectful
If there is no mutual respect, it is not healthy love. This one is super important.
S – Safe
True love should feel safe and true love should feel like home. And this means definitely no emotional and no physical abuse.
T – Trusting
We should feel that we trust our partners 100 percent.
U – Unconditional
This means loving someone unselfishly and accepting the person for who they are (unless they are abusive or have other toxic traits).
V – Visionary
We should feel able to create plans, dreams, and wishes for the future together. Make them big.
W – Worthy
Love should make us feel worthy. But first, we need to feel worthy of receiving love. Self-love comes first.
X – xoxo
Ok…technically this isn’t a word (I couldn’t find one for the letter x), but I think love should involve lots of xoxoxox’s. (Kisses and hugs!)
(If anyone thinks of a word for the letter X, do drop a comment in the comments section please)!
Y – Young
Find someone who makes you feel young, even when you’re 80, have no teeth, and are using a walking stick.
Z – Zestful
Love should give us that zest for life; it should make us want to get out of bed in the morning. It should give us positive energy for life.
Et voilà! There’s my alphabet of love.
Would you add any more?