1. Notice the parts of you that want to escape what you’re feeling and/or move on quickly and THANK those parts of you. They are working to keep you safe by avoiding the tough feelings, but they also need to know that it’s safe to feel everything AND feeling is a vital part of healing.
2. Once you can settle into your feelings, allow them to come up and see if you can lovingly sit with all that you’re feeling — the disappointment, the frustration, the grief, etc. Take time to feel and honor all of the parts of you that show up and imagine yourself as the loving caretaker to each part, holding and embracing and listening, not fixing or changing. Each is valid and needs your love.
3. You don’t need to heal alone and others want to help, let them. Share with your loved ones what you’re going through and ask for their support. So many of us think we need to do things alone, or feel ashamed for having our feelings. While it requires vulnerability to share, it is also validating to be seen and not hidden — what you’re feeling makes sense. And if you need professional help, please seek it.
4. Notice the parts of you that want to cling onto the past and remind those parts of the full truth. Was the relationship always great? What didn’t work? Make a list and remind yourself of those things. Be diligent with that part that wants to cling. And when you’re ready to, start to imagine a more beautiful future for yourself…what else is possible? Take the lessons you learned from that relationship and create a new vision for the future.
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