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October 14, 2021

Balancing Self Love & A New Relationship

Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR on Pexels.

Practicing self love is a daily journey that takes time and a whole lotta patience. Mind racing, countless thoughts, over-analyzing every single word and fixating on making things work throughout my day, can be quite exhausting in the end. It seems really challenging most of the time but if you can identify with any of these feelings, well…join the club.

The difference between wanting to feel self love and actually acquiring it is just to be conscious about how you are feeling and how you want to feel. There is no perfect recipe for this.

For some time now I’ve been on a journey with myself looking for ways to balance my life in order to be ready for whatever may come. What I’ve learned is that there is no “specific moment” that you are working for. There are many moments that life will throw at you and challenge you in unimaginable ways. Most people believe you work hard and you will get what you want. So, yeah that may be possible but the question is, “What happens after?”. You work hard, get what you want – and then what? This question is key to understanding that it is an endless, daily journey with yourself.

Understanding this has helped me open up my mind to new relationships. I was usually one to rush or over-analyze a person before actually deciding that this person could be suitable for me. It left me powerless and insecure. Thinking no one thinks I’m good enough for them to be in a serious relationship. That’s when I started focusing on my daily life and what I was doing to attract such uninterested people. I focused on being present with myself and with my friends. It felt really light, like a burden was lifted off. The worry is there sometimes but with this daily self love journey I have been presented with a new possibility.

We started as friends hanging out with other friends and suddenly I kept seeing more of this person every time. Something sparked an interest and I felt curious. I most definitely started over-thinking but something in my mind just paused me. That’s when I decided to let things flow. If this person was there, we enjoyed our time together and if this person wasn’t there then I still had a great time with my other friends. I never limited myself just because this person couldn’t be there. It feels easy and light when we are together.

I believe this would not have been possible if I didn’t work with my self love before. It takes time and patience and I do not know if this person is the one but for now, this will be my maybe.

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