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The following article is an excerpt from Damini Grover’s book, The Intentional Being.
We all look for comfort, safety, and security in everything that we do.
Our families, relationships, work, health—everything is meant to give us a sense of comfort and security.
We begin from the bare minimum requirements and slowly upscale. It’s all fine till everything hits a standstill. When our safety and security are at their peak. This is the best that it can get, and we feel settled. There is an everyday routine. The conversations begin to get predictable. The money feels just enough. And it’s all fine, till it isn’t.
Till a part of us begins to slowly wake up and starts noticing the other things that are out of its comfort zone.
It begins to notice that it’s been driving this car for the last five years, the house begins to feel small, the job feels boring at times, the relationship feels okay, the conversations aren’t fun anymore, health seems to be dwindling a bit, and a feeling of not being stimulated enough begins to settle in.
Just like this, there are other feelings which start making way into this “comfort blanket” that we conveniently tuck ourselves into night after night, without realizing that it has holes now because it’s old.
Sooner than later, we also ignore noticing that we have outgrown the blanket. Now, it only gives us the mental comfort that it’s keeping us warm. But the holes in the blanket tell a different story altogether.
It becomes a welcome blanket for feelings like emptiness, loneliness, stagnation, irritation, confusion, and frustration, and gradually we realize that comfort isn’t good enough.
But it’s still comfort, isn’t it? It’s that feeling which makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. It gives you this illusion that you’re safe and secure even though you’re not growing. Yet, at times, it lets you overlook the fact that you are growing. And this realization—that while comfort is comfort, it’s not growth, expansion, or fulfilment—hits hard for some.
While comfort demands staying where you are, growth demands moving out of what once felt safe and secure into a newer and unfamiliar territory. Making decisions that are bold or hard can send your world into a tizzy. It also means acknowledging those parts of you that you keep trying to push under this blanket, so that you don’t have to see them.
But till when?
Ignorance is bliss only till the time it’s not painful. Eventually, when the pain catches up, then it’s too much to deal with. It robs you of your ability to think. And we let ourselves get there. We procrastinate, we ignore.
We tell ourselves stories about being stuck in jobs that are unrewarding yet paying the bills. We continue with relationships that we have long outgrown or know in our hearts that they aren’t for us, simply because we fear loneliness or being the big bad wolf in the eyes of people.
We continue with courses because we are afraid of letting somebody else down, because creating the illusion of perfection is so much better.
We don’t ask for help when we need it the most because it would mean facing our own truth. And, living in ignorance and denial is so much fun. But fun only lasts until a certain time.
Yes, growth is scary. Change is intimidating.
But in our hearts, we all know we are capable of it because the sole purpose of the human heart, mind, and body is to evolve.
All we need to do is to look within and make room for a little change.
A change that brings with it curiosity for what’s to come, a sense of exploration for the new, and courage to become better than who we are today.