October 20, 2021

Grief is an Ocean.

“The act of living is different all through. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” ~ C.S Lewis, A Grief Observed


This is my favorite quote on grief for it conveys how grief impacts and changes everything.

C.S Lewis’s book A Grief Observed is one of the most brilliant pieces of literature ever written on the topic of grief. It is an expression of pure love.

Tonight I return to read and settle into home. I review the day and cuddle with my cat.

I give thanks!

I shed some tears and feel cleansed.

Today I facilitated grief sessions. This stirred up emotions and a flood of memories.

Now I feel moved and inspired to write.

I desire to write to share as I know that many people want to “get over grief.” They say this like it is a cold or flu. I really believe that humans do not get over something like grief.

I have experienced many losses in a relatively short time over the past five years and grief is no stranger; we are long bedfellows.

Healing is acceptance and integrating, and eventually moving forward, and still there are times that grief sneaks up like a thief in the night.

Grief, the snake in the grass, slowly appears.

I could go on making comparisons.

There are so many metaphors to explain grief.

There is no way to predict or prevent grief from bubbling up.

The waves will come and there is no stopping them. There is nothing that prepares you and no one who can take the pain away except the return of the one you have lost, which will never happen. Once you accept that they are gone, the waves crash.

I have been writing about grief for over five years now and studying it for more years than I can count.

There are grief experts and books, yet no one will be an expert in your grief accept you.

The truth is your grief is as unique as you are.

I have received many gifts from grief.

I have learned to accept these gifts and ride the waves that come out of nowhere.

I assure you that you will learn to ride the waves of grief as well.

I do not regret grieving for it is an expression of loving.

I do not give up on grief.

What no one tells you is that grief may last a lifetime. We may heal and move on, yet grief can still hold a space.

The poet Rumi says “Love is the sea where intellect drowns” and I would agree.

My friends, love always transcends.

If love is the sea, then grief is an ocean.

As long as loving hearts are living love remains and grief is an ocean, an ocean of love.


Hearted by


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