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Three years ago, I strived for “unf*ckwithable” status.
It feels almost arrogant and comical as I read that statement now because we all share a strong, forceful common denominator that could throw us off our ships.
Sure, inner peace and self-connection are most definitely attributes we would all like to attain, but not letting anyone touch us there…
Is that inner connection or just a shield of outer disconnection?
If we truly garner inner peace, then by mere nature, it is embedded inside of us: we become unf*ckwithable even when rattled. It becomes an inner life force.
Nonetheless, if I feel you, you will run through my veins—what you say and do will affect me and bother me.
We are sentient beings; we are built to feel. Trying to defy that is unnatural—reversed engineering.
Negativity and drama will touch me. It will mold me into a deeper human being with abilities to cope, manage, and even excel at critical thinking.
Our current global catastrophe is indeed a dramatic humanitarian violation that has caused rolling waves of awakening—it has stirred dramatic transformations on massive scales. We are adapting, but we are inside the drama. And we are touched. I am touched.
Being touched by sadness, moved by uncertainty, shaken by fear, and rattled by restlessness makes us whole. Trying to push any of this aside for the need to “stay positive” is, in itself, negating our inner life force and, therefore, negative. This movement toward only positive thinking denies our full spectrum of human colours. It wants to “play” positive.
I cannot subscribe to this. The human condition is just that: a condition of being alive—allowing emotions to seep through us and honouring each of them.
There is a beauty in meeting ourselves in the darkest corners of our souls and sitting in that uncomfortableness until we can let the experience come to the surface. It is there that we can feel the grit of our being and allow ourselves true openness—to see what we are made of and who we are. This is a fine art. Denying or bypassing our darkness will never make us feel liberated.
Instead, we become prisoners of an internal battle that will try to find resolve outside the dark corners of our souls. The more unsettled and unbalanced we feel, the more quickly and recklessly we attach ourselves to things and people who will grab hold of us and help “squash this.”
Instead, I suggest we create whatever causes a revolution in our hearts. If we make space for all the paradoxes to be equally true inside our souls, we can make anything. We must learn our way around loneliness because that is at the core of most of our suffering. Sit with it. Let’s allow it to transpire through us for once in our lives—not rush to make it go away. If we can plant ourselves in that stillness long enough, we will, in time, experience the truth that everything (both uncomfortable and lovely) does eventually pass.
There is no control group in this human life. We decide our variables, and we decide our fate. We need to participate—relentlessly—in the manifestation of our thoughts and happiness. We must take our pleasures where we can find them. We must not become so cautious that we forget to live.
Abandoning the depths of our “darkness” for a surface that is “shallow but easier to navigate for a time” can sometimes be necessary—a breath of air. But we must remember not to be in such a hurry to leave. From that level, there really isn’t anywhere else to go.
There is a deep space that exists between the polarities of our being. Somewhere in there…that is where we find ourselves.