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November 22, 2021

Blaming Women

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.

It doesn’t matter what clothes I wear –

Short skirts, skinny jeans, long dresses,

spaghetti strapped tops with the cut in the middle of my chest.

Long sleeves, hoodies, push up bras, or no bras.

They will say, “She shouldn’t have worn that.”

They will say, “She was asking for it.”

It doesn’t matter if I’m walking at night,

walking in the morning, if I’m at party or at my home.

They will say “She put herself in that position.”

They will say “She shouldn’t have been there.”

They will say “She shouldn’t have drank that much.”

They will say, “She did something stupid.”

They will say, “She invited him over.”

It doesn’t matter if I say no the first time or change my mind and say no later, and it doesn’t matter if my body freezes and I can’t speak at all.

They will say, “She should’ve said something.”

They will say, “It takes two.”

It doesn’t matter if I say I’m not interested nicely or if I say it bluntly. And it doesn’t matter if I walk away or leave.

They will say, “What’s her problem?”

They will say, “She’s a bitch.”

It doesn’t matter that I fear wearing certain clothes, walking at night, or saying the wrong thing because I know and every woman I know, knows – that it could lead to sexual assault or rape.

And it doesn’t matter that every woman I know has experienced this to some degree or if I say, “me too sister, me too.”

And it definitely doesn’t matter if I go to court.

They will say, “She’s lying.”

They will say, “She just wants his money.”

They will say, “She stayed with him.”

It doesn’t matter that 1 in 5 women have experienced rape, that 90% of victims are women, and that 54% of them experience it before they’re 18.

They will tell women to change their behavior.

They will find a defense for men.

They will say, “He was drunk.”

They will say, “He has straight A’s.”

They will say, “It happened so long ago.”

They will say, “These are just bad men.”

They will say, “Not all men.”

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