** potential trigger warning **

Disclaimer
The following is not intended to provide medical information or advice.

Today while stuck waiting for a train I started changing the lyrics to Okay Kaya’s song “ IUD”

I have been playing it and reflecting on my uterus.

The truth is no one can come with me to get mine out due to covid.

I’m kind of freaking out.

I’m scheduled for the procedure in hospital with sedation after the routine removal in the doctor’s office failed and he couldn’t find it.

It’s there snug where it should be thank goodness.

I normally have no issues doing anything alone however, this one has me as I said more than anxious. I recall when I had it put in five years ago. I was in a relationship, a committed non- commital relationship I might add. The whole thing wasn’t supported and truth be said I felt alone. There is a reason why I ended it.

I guess this is bringing that all back.

I am grateful that I did get it and it reduced tons of anxiety regarding pregnancy. At the time I already had an adult child and wasn’t prepared to start again with a baby. I think I even said “ I love you but I don’t want your baby”.

I again remind myself of the positives of the IUD.

It really has been a gift regulating hormones and even made me feel balanced.It has reduced painful periods and has made me feel sane.

Waiting for the longest train in the world today provides me with ample time to replay the instructions  from the specialist’s office. This is after all what analytical over thinkers do.

“ Have someone pick you up after the procedure as you will be sedated” the receptionist reminded me in her reminder call. Well the shortlist of my  contacts who can do this is dwindling due to Covid. I am going to have to get a healthcare co-worker to be on stand by. We are all family anyway.

“ It will be ok,” I say out loud

Okay’s song soothes me. I have it on repeat

“ Baby you’re so baby, but I don’t want your baby“

The song is healing and so true. Support from a partner is needed and women need to have choices over their reproductive systems.

Now home to meditate “ my uterus is miraculous”

Oh, I am so grateful for the supports I have that remind me that I am loved.