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April 16, 2022

An open letter to the man who took a chance on me.

My love,

When we met, it was an historic September snowstorm and we spent the weekend hiding from the cold while closed roads felt like a gift rather than an inconvenience.  

What you didn’t know was that I had just been hurt.  So hurt, everyone told me just to wait.  To live with that pain for a while before I started something new.  What you didn’t know was that I was at risk of never trusting again.  What you didn’t know was that it took everything I had to choose to turn towards you, not away from you.

When we emerged from the snow and I told you my story, just weeks after we had met.  Instead of telling me that I was too hurt, you said you wanted to make something clear: You weren’t f***ing around.  You were looking for a partner.  

You asked if I could do that, so soon.

I said yes, I was strong enough to grieve what I had lost while starting something new.  You told me later you assumed that this would go down in flames, but for me, you were willing to take the risk.

Did we already love each other? Probably.


You took a chance.  You loved me and let me love you, even as I processed the pain that came before you.  You championed me, making space for a pain that had nothing to do with you.  Now it had room to breathe so it didn’t suffocate me.  It didn’t extinguish us.  

It takes such a confident man to love like that.

My love, you are the strength I had never seen in a man before.  You were strong enough to love even my pain.  You never asked me to be smaller, but you held me as I fell apart.  You asked for an invitation into my life, simply to love me.  

You’ve always acted as if loving me was so easy, natural and right.  You didn’t hesitate to become a We, didn’t blink at being Us, and were always so sure that you were meant to love me.

Thank you for showing me it doesn’t have to be hard.  That I can be chosen as much as I am capable of choosing.  That I can receive as much as I give.

That I don’t have to be the strong one.

With love and admiration,

Your Girl

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