Having radical responsibility for ourselves is a superpower.
It’s the one thing in our lives that gives us actual control—because we realize it’s the only thing we can control. And it is how we respond to all the things we can’t.
Responsibility means we and only we are responsible for the way our life looks, feels, and operates—no matter the circumstances.
It’s not about blaming, shaming, or guilting ourselves; it’s about simply acknowledging that we have the ability and power to choose to respond to whatever is in front of us, and in whatever way we choose.
I like to break it down using a method I created called S.E.L.F.
You lost your job? A relationship? An opportunity?
Shift your story:
Bring the responsibility back to you. “Wow, it really sucks this happened and now I have a choice…” (If you need take time to grieve, honor your feelings, and find your ground)
“If this is where I am at, and this is where I want to be…this is what I need to do.”
Start taking action in the direction you want to go.
Your life becomes what you desire, and you are free to choose again.
It seems really simple, but people love to blame other people or institutions—all the things outside of themselves—and what they end up doing when they put the blame on the external is they give power to the external, rather than where it belongs…with themselves.
When we take our power back and take radical responsibility, we are left with the power to choose something different.
It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, but we can do it and we do have the power, the knowledge, and the time. It’s more about the ways in which we are choosing to invest it.
And remember, life is what you make it, so make it f*cking good.