A recent post of mine on FB, complaining and whining and going on and on, went semi-viral, and I got overwhelmed and have met with some folks and here’s an update. Mwuah!

To all those who reached out and meant it—thank you.

I’ve been getting comments and texts and calls from many. And it’s true that many folks didn’t know, still don’t know what all I’ve been going through these last 8 months, and some of that is because of busyness, which we’re all swimming in. And if we don’t know, we can’t express caring. And we do care, many of us, about one another. And if you’ve been going through, who hasn’t, and those who are close to you haven’t reached out, again, that’s on us and me and you to all be clear.

Partially I have not been overly clear about business challenges because for some that makes them uncomfortable. I was able to be clear about losing dear ol’Redford before his time, and painfully in his last months. And now with my breakup, I was asked not to make some big clear announcement, which frankly I would have prefer to do, just to be clear, but I understand why not, too, and I have respected that by writing my feelings, which are mine, and just being more (or less) vague about what’s up, or rather down.

So: all in all, thank you, and this has been rough, and out of rough moments if we have support and sanity and kindness around us and toward ourselves, good things can grow, like Spring flowering buds out of the last snowfalls.

In business, I know am less of a manager, and more of a writer again, and I’m able to do videos and podcast, again, which folks missed and which I’ve missed. That’s our mission, to be of benefit to and beyond our choir. With Molly’s help, going forward, I’m truly fulfilled and excited about that, along with writing my next books, and seeing my first two books doing well.

I’m beginning to teach around the country—writing and maitri and meditation and community. Kripalu looks like a go, and I’m talking with other centers here in the US and elsewhere. More on that later.

I’m reaching out to conventional agents/publishers for the first time, now that I have the strength of a bestseller and the ability to, we’ll see, dictate at least some eco printing and distribution requirements. So my career as an author could be just getting going.

With Redford, I am looking to adopt, now, since September, but am being very patient and slow about it. I’ve fallen in love with many pups, but am waiting for that thunderclap, that feeling I had when I first saw Redford as a 2 month old pup on the Boulder Humane Society web site and called my gf and a friend and said “meet me there, I’m on my way!”

With love, children, being 48 now, who knows. I have a good home sweet home and community—thank you to those of you who have showed up—and I do want to be closer with my mom especially as I have a family, if I do. So we’ll see. I do feel up, down, relieved, heartbroken, destroyed, just depressed, all of it, in waves. It’s been harder, having to go slower with how I feel than I anticipated. I haven’t been on a single date. I’ve been injured on top of it all for 8 months now, so can’t even go for long bike rides in the Autumn gold, but I’m getting outside a bit. Elephant continues to demand a good deal of focus and energy from me, but in my off hours I feel like I’m just sitting in a walk-in refrigerator—cold, isolated, alone.

A few folks were concerned about my mental health—I’m fine. I’m not fine at all but I’m fine with not being fine and I am fundamentally okay and in a fine safe place, so no stress there.

May it be of benefit!