Disappointment, no matter what it’s in relation to, is never fun.
Recently one of my high flying balloons was deflated. Popped in an instant. I’ve been here before, many times, as I’m sure you have too. I got curious with this one and decided to document the process in an attempt to overcome my disappointment and inflate my ballon once again.
So here it goes.
To give you a little background, the disappointment was in relation to a creative project I had been working on for about two years. All of me went into this. I submitted my work of art and truly believed that “this was it!” It would be so successful and my life would shift rapidly as a result.
But. It didn’t go to plan—which brings me to phase one for overcoming a disappointment. A phase I most definitely embraced.
1. Have a cry and feel it all.
Crying probably goes without saying here, but to me the allowance around this, that is, the permission you give yourself to be sad, to feel flat, and feel the hurt is incredibly important and a huge part in moving forward.
It’s a release and an acknowledgement.
I cried and cried and made my eyes fat and puffy and then? I felt good; well, I felt better.
Amongst the crying I also realised I had a huge expectation. You see, for a disappointment to exist in the first place means there has to have been an expectation attached. When you order a dress online in your size, but it turns up too small, you’re disappointed. You expected your size, you expected what you ordered to fit and it didn’t, so there’s disappointment. Your expectation didn’t meet the outcome.
What I made sure of is that I didn’t adopt a belief that just because the outcome wasn’t what I had hoped that it means I must reduce my expectations.
I say go all in, and yeah, if it doesn’t go to plan then simply refer back to an article like this to help you move through it. You have your dreams for a reason, so keep believing. Personally, I love to love hard and would prefer the disappointment then only dip my toe in or to “realistically” think about things.
Cry, feel, and swim for as long as you need in all of your emotions; you’re allowed.
2. Thank your angels.
Co-creating is how life works. It’s not just our human little bodies and our little human minds alone here trying to work everything out.
No. We are responsible for creating our realities and for keeping our energies aligned to the life we want to experience and create. However, once we launch these rockets of intention and once we take the action and do the work, we’re also doing it alongside divine workers, spirit, and divine love. Part of this dance is allowing for things to happen that we don’t foresee happening and, like in my case, didn’t want to happen. Our job isn’t to try and control the outcome or judge it as bad or wrong. I don’t know why things didn’t go as I had hoped but I also don’t need to know.
You have a choice to stick to your vision and keep moving forward.
So, yes, I say feel the disappointment that may pop up for some time to come, but each time they do, send a thank you to your divine team for working so hard for you and directing things in an even more aligned and abundant way than you ever pictured.
Remember, they know what your deepest dreams are and can see further down the track. They know what lessons get to be learned and what will bring you the most joy. It takes strength to believe and trust in the unknown.
3. Time to reframe.
Now that we have emptied, released, acknowledged, and thanked, it’s time to reframe any beliefs and evaluations around the situation so they are of service and empowering to you.
It’s easy to take a hit and then unconsciously adopt a belief or maybe you allow the situation to reinforce a belief you already had, let’s say, around not being good enough? Nothing ever working out for you? Things are always “too good to be true.”
We don’t want those beliefs to live within us, and we definitely don’t want to keep attracting situations that reinforce them.
So we reframe.
Each one of these beliefs I’ve just mentioned above are definitely challenges for me. I know they have lived inside of me, which is why I want to take the time to consciously choose the beliefs and the story I’m going to create around this disappointment.
I reframed any beliefs that weren’t serving me by watching what story was running, so for me, I took each one and journaled around them and shifted the narrative to one that was empowering. Again, trust in the universe and your divine team to help you with this.
Here are some journal prompts to help you discover some gifts of growth and to help you reframe:
>> What did you learn from this experience?
>> How are you in an even better position?
>> What does this now make you available for?
>> How can you back yourself even more?
Let’s now move on to the final phase.
4. Choose again, baby!
We always have a choice; daily we are presented with so many choices, and on the backend of a disappointment…guess what? Yep! You get to choose again.
Will I choose to stay down and believe I just can’t do it? It won’t happen, I should do something else? Or, will I choose to look at where I can make it even better, where I can improve what I’m doing and make it even stronger? Will I choose to keep pursuing what I want, my dream, regardless?
You get to choose your dream again.
There is always room for improvement. If you can change something or do things differently, do so; however, if in your heart you still dream the same dream then all you need to do is choose it again—full conviction, full belief, and also in full surrender that the pathway and the journey can look completely different to the way you think it “needs” to look. We never know the how.
You do not need to dim your light or sidestep your dream.
If it’s the romantic soul romance you dream of, or the career move you crave, or the creative project you want to bring to life, choose it again, lock it in, send it love, and move forward.
Disappointment is a gift and a beautiful human discomfort we will experience several times over. It means you put yourself out there. You are reaching for magic in your life, and perhaps the disappointment is an element of this magic and a reminder that you’re well and truly on your way.
Grab some chocolate and enjoy the ride. You’re closer than you think.
Be kind. Have fun.