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This article is written in partnership with Lovehoney, the world’s largest online store for all things pleasure, including sex toys, lingerie, and much more. They pioneered Pleasure Air Technology and now they’re revolutionizing sustainability in the sex toy industry—we’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.
My most recent fantasy lately has revolved around oral. Really. good. oral.
Truth be told, I didn’t much enjoy the art when I was in my young 20s, and never imagined I’d ever miss it.
I’d been with a partner who performed it begrudgingly and seemed to resent that it took me forever to “finish” (gee, I wonder why). So, when I heard other women talking about the technical delicacies enjoyed while so-and-so had visited down south, I just didn’t get it.
Then I met him, that one ex-boyfriend, and that all changed. Let me tell you: I’ve never felt like such an absolute snack—and one to be savored at that.
Fast forward. While I love my current partner and he likes going down on me, there’s going down, and there’s being devoured. Frankly, I have been missing the latter.
I’ve also been apart from him for over a month due to a work scenario, which has left me a little thirsty with only me, myself and I to fill my cup. So, fantasies have been, in an ironic twist on words, my reality.
What’s a gal to do? Well, herself, of course.
And that’s something the sex and masturbation masters over at Lovehoney make possible. They’re the world’s biggest online retailer for all things pleasure and they go way beyond basic bullet vibrators and g-spot goodies. They literally suck—in the very best of ways.
Recently, I was gifted with probably the fanciest toy I’ve ever owned, Lovehoney’s Womanizer DUO 2 G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator, and much like oral sex with the muff diving master who piqued my clitty curiosity, when I received this toy, I was a bit skeptical and intimidated.
It’s got, like, a gazillion (okay, 10) vibrational settings, a curved wand for magical g-spot stimulation, and in place of the other clitoral stimulators you might find in a rabbit vibrator, there’s a Pleasure Air module that uses the literal OG suction technology that launched contactless clitoral stimulation toys into its categorical being. It’s also got 14 intensity levels for each of the suction and vibration features.
It feels. like. oral.
But not just any oral—the best oral of your life. Because with that many settings at your fingertips, in an instant you can switch up the pattern or intensity to race things toward the finish line, or taper off into a plateau to avoid climax if you like to practice a little edging.
Do you fancy a slowly increasing, hard suck? Or a gentle lick-and-nibble? ‘Cause I’ve tapped into both those sensations with this baby. It’s almost too good.
But aside from fantastic, fancy toys that can do us exactly the way we wanna be done when no one else can, how can we get the kinda head we love—the kind that makes us come, lickety split? Well, we need to communicate our needs.
For various reasons, 55 percent of us don’t talk about sexual desires or satisfaction with our sex partners—nevertheless our fantasies. But that needs to change.
If our partners aren’t yet pleasure masters of our body, they very well could be with our gentle instruction, patience, and guidance. Like this (Psst! Pass it on):
5 ways to encourage the best oral you’ve ever had (& they’ve ever given).
1. Encourage paying attention to your whole body.
For many of us, few things kill the mood faster than just going straight for the goods—and hard. Remind your partner that just like regular sex benefits from a little foreplay and mental stimulation, so does going down on you.
Take the time and text or talk dirty a day or two ahead of, well, head. Be graphic and precise about the way you’d like them to work you up.
Does the sensation of fingernails dragged up and down your body with a feather-light touch get you out of your mind and into the mood? Tell them to start there then move to the inside of your thighs and eventually to your labia. Instruct them to glide their fingertips onto the sensitive skin there until they feel you get a little wet.
There’s no shame—just pleasure—in telling our partner exactly how we want to be touched and having them do it either in real-time or later down the road.
2. Compare laying the lip to a slow make-out sesh.
Adult star Daizha Morgann says it best: “A lot of women like it if you take your time. Make out with her instead of tongue-punching her.”
Nibbles are nice, too. Maybe even with the occasional extra bit of a bite just like on our lips. But all things in moderation. Let your partner know what feels good, and guide them away from what’s not so pleasurable.
Think they need more of a tactile example? Have them move their lips to yours and demonstrate on their tongue how you’d like them to move it on your clit.
3. Encourage them to use their words (and voice).
It’s among the sexiest, most arousing things to be with someone who we know is turned on by successfully pleasuring us.
Still, many of us have experienced that brief moment of panic when our partner wants to go down on us—no matter how much we like it. Do we smell okay? How about our taste?
Worry is a pretty big mood killer, is it not?
Explain to your partner that sometimes, it would quiet that inner critic if they would occasionally reassure you that they like the smell and taste of you on their lips and the feel of you on their tongue. They can tell you ahead of time when they’re asking if they can go down on you, or they can say in media res.
Be sure to let them know it’s also super sexy when they mmm-make a little nnn-noise here and there to let you know they’re still (very) into pleasuring you.
4. Encourage them to listen to more than just your words or voice.
Encourage them to get in tune with your body. If they pay attention and learn to listen for sounds demonstrating being in the yum, or physical reactions intended to lead you out of the yuck, they’ll be able to take that much more enjoyment in adjusting to and anticipating your needs.
They’ll also be able to savor their own excitement while feeling you build toward climax and come down from their having helped you achieve it.
5. Let them know it’s great to use your fingers, too (if you’re into that).
That’s it. Right there. The finger action, for me, is everything, personally. Fingertips resting just above my public bone, gently pressing down: yes, please! Two fingers inside and hooked toward my…: OMG-spot! A flick of my cervix? Not so much for me, but I do know others like it.
It’s totally acceptable to remind our partners that the combination of internal and external clitoral stimulation is the magic combination for most women. A lick here and a curl there can get our backs arching in the sack.
6. Incorporate toys—whether on our lonesome or on partners.
Look, some folks just aren’t going to appreciate going down on us, and sometimes, our partners who enjoy clam-lapping just aren’t going to be feeling in the mood for it when we are.
Quite frankly, sex is sexier when it’s a shared exploration, and not a negotiation, so when that’s the case, and dining at the Y is off the counter, we can bring sex toys like Lovehoney’s Womanizer’s DUO 2 into the mix.
The g-spot wand can feel like a finger or two hooking onto the just right spot, and the vibrational modes can create the feeling of motion right where I want it. Meanwhile, the pattern of the Pleasure Air device simulates the licking and flicking and fluttering sensations I so love about a little, shall we say, tongue lashing.
And we all deserve that sort of joy and physical gratification.
Sure, it might feel vulnerable to express our want or need for our partner to go down on us—particularly if we aren’t comfortable in general talking about our sexual satisfaction or fantasies. But science supports that when we do just that, we contribute to a healthier relationship overall.
So get your tongue moving in a non-sexual sense and start talking. And better yet, start doing better.
Grab some toys that can bridge the pleasure gaps that you find through talking about some of your fantasies (say, mmm, pearl diving for example!) and find some fun and creative solutions to getting each of your needs met.
You’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
G-Spot stimulation & a bit of suction surely is a lovely DUO 2. Get on this toy and get off pronto >>
Lovehoney Luxuries for all Levels of Pleasure-Seekers.
1. Lovehoney Wand
Deluxe Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand Vibrator