Read Waylon’s initial take on the situation here. And new info, here.

Note: no one person is the voice of Elephant. Agree with the below? Disagree with the below? Inspired to share your contemplations, experiences, take—what can be helpful, critical or otherwise? Post here.
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Author’s update: After seeing the full video, the joy and enthusiasm in interviews with the son and mother, plus watching Waylon’s conversation with Chemi Lhamo, I do not feel the same concern or sadness around the Dalai Lama that I did a week ago. But I also want to honor those who have experienced trauma responses to the perceived abuse and disrespect. Kindness matters.
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I was scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday and noticed that a friend I respect and admire had made a casual, sarcastic, and off-putting comment about the Dalai Lama.

My initial reaction was, “What the f*ck?”

Anger, betrayal, and rejection of my friend, not the Dalai Lama, rose inside me. She is not somebody who typically speaks harshly of people.

So, I did what we do in 2023. I did a Google search on the Dalai Lama. The first eight were articles about him and his life. When I read the ninth, my heart sank and my spine went limp for a split second.

“The Dalai Lama asks a boy to suck his tongue.”

I resisted opening the article.

I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!

I clicked the link and read the article, sort of. I skimmed it, hoping I would miss the gross parts and only see where this was all a misunderstanding. But that part didn’t magically appear.

Sigh.

I am not going to defend him. I am not going to attack him. My heart, belly, and spine response was not about him. They were about me.

I am not a Buddhist, whatever that means. I have trained with amazing teachers from many traditions. I have experienced retreats honoring many traditions. My time with the Dalai Lama is high up on that list.

I had the opportunity to spend 10 days with him in 1999. It left a profound imprint on me and still does today.

One of the things I was most impressed with in his teachings was his humility and how he consistently came back to being a human being like the rest of us, and therefore capable of ignorance, arrogance, and anger.

I feel the need to defend him and his actions, and I am choosing not to. Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. also have non-defendable actions and choices in varying degrees.

We all do. I certainly do!

I’m sad today. I’m sad that we humans are human.

I’m sad that those I use as examples remind me that I am human and will never be anything more. The fantasy in my head needs to be shattered continuously.

I’m sad that I still have the fantasy.

I’m sad that many people enjoy tearing down beautiful but flawed humans.

I’m sad that I need to believe these people are different than me.

I’m sad about the first noble truth: “Life is suffering.”

Today, I suffer sadness, shame, and a pinch of betrayal.

Sigh.

I’m sad, just good old-fashioned sad.

I want my fantasy back. I want the safety and security that fantasy provided me. I want anything but the need to defend him or attack him.

I’m sad today.

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For more:

If the Dalai Lama’s Behavior bothers you—Good. Now do something about It.

Lessons From the Dalai Lama: Separating the Prophet from the Person.

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