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July 24, 2023

Love Beyond Labels: The Ups, Downs, and Roundabouts of Lesbian Dating

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.

Picture this: a wide-eyed, newly-out me, stepping into the lesbian dating world for the first time. It felt like entering Narnia, but instead of a wardrobe, there was an app. And instead of Mr. Tumnus, there was an array of women whose first photos ranged from their dog, to a group shot (guess who?), to that classic fish-holding pic. I guess some things cross all dating boundaries.

Navigating this new world was more of a rollercoaster than a carousel. Some dates felt like magic – laughing until our sides hurt over a shared plate of fries, connecting on everything from politics to our mutual love for cheesy 80s music. But other times? Let’s just say the tumbleweeds could’ve used a traffic controller.

In the whirlwind of swipes, dates, and the inevitable ghosting (yup, even in the lesbian world), I’ve picked up a few road signs that have made the journey more amusing and less like I’ve stumbled into the wild west.

One: Honesty is Queen

Once, I met a woman online who was a self-professed “cat lady.” Intrigued by her dedication to felines, I decided to meet up. Little did I know, she took “cat lady” to a level even the internet wasn’t prepared for. I stepped into her apartment to find no less than twenty sets of eyes staring at me. Lesson learned: never underestimate the power of truth in bio.

Two: “The L Word” isn’t just a Show

In the lesbian dating scene, things can move faster than a pride parade in June. I’m talking “I love you’s” quicker than you can say, “What’s your last name again?” It’s sweet but also a bit like boarding an express train when you thought you were in for a leisurely stroll.

Three: The Great Coming Out Carousel

One unique, sometimes amusing, facet of lesbian dating is that coming out isn’t a one-time event.

Whether it’s to a new group of friends, at work, or with each new person you date, it can sometimes feel like you’re on a never-ending coming-out carousel. At this point, I’m considering having t-shirts made: “Yes, I’m a lesbian. Yes, really. Any other questions?”

Navigating this constant process of revealing oneself adds a quirky layer to the dating experience. It has led to some truly memorable conversations and, let’s be honest, more than a few instances of awkwardness.

Four: Goodbye, Gender Norms

Who pays the bill? Who makes the first move? The beauty of dating women is that we’ve left these questions at the door, along with any leftover heteronormativity. It’s a breath of fresh air in a world that can sometimes feel stuffy.

Gender is a spectrum, and so too is love. The norms of lesbian dating may feel like navigating a winding road, but it’s part of the adventure. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Dating women, like dating in general, has its share of ups, downs, and downright weird moments. But these are also what make it so deliciously memorable. And hey, whether it’s a fantastic connection, a hilariously bad date, or learning that cat lady can be taken very literally, it’s all part of the journey.

I’ve come to love the wild, wacky, and oh-so-queer world of lesbian dating. And not just because I love women. The sense of belonging and openness that comes with queer dating is unparalleled. After all, love isn’t defined by labels – it’s beyond them. That’s something worth celebrating.

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