The most important thing in a relationship is ‘LOVE’ of-course!
Love and warmth is something that every living being feels happy when one is able to give it to others, and feels equally happy when one gets to receive it from others. It is because the basic tendency of every living being is to love and be loved. We like to get loved by people and we love to love people too. That’s the reason every relationship thrives on love and warmth; and thus, this is what makes any relationship solid and strong.
What is the right definition of ‘Love’?
Overall, the definition of love ranges from ‘a deep feeling of affection for someone’ to the embodiment of ‘a virtue that always protects, trusts, hopes and cares for others without any reason’, and further it goes right upto the point where ‘unconditional Godly love flows for everyone’.
Saint Kabir says, one is a learned man if he understands just this one word i.e. LOVE. He has carved a very beautiful definition of love: “That which increases one moment and decreases the next, is not love: That which resides in the heart and remains the same, is real love.”
So real love is a constant flow, it neither overflows or underflows!! Whether the other person praises you, applauds you with garlands, or he talks ill about you, he abuses you, your love never changes for him. The next day, when he comes to you, your feeling for him is the same! A level of equanimity and selflessness is vividly felt between you and the opposite person; and this experience gradually grows for everyone else in this world too!! When we are filled with such love, nobody wants to hurt us even the slightest, and they do not want to leave us ever.
The degree of selflessness increases as one attains higher stages of development
But until then, in the relationships, our passion of love flows towards the other person depending on the opposite person’s behaviour! And hence, conflicts arise very normally.
So here, the Enlightened One suggests:
In love, practice the following:
- Minimize your expectations,
- Do not see faults of each other,
- Do not hurt each other,
- Do not keep any conditions, and
- Do not say anything negative about that person to someone else; only say positive things about the person you love to another person.
If that (any of the above) happens, do pratikraman (ask for forgiveness). When your spouse or any loved one does not behave well with you, understand that, ‘This is due to my past karmic account. But I want to continue to love the pure Soul (God) residing in him / her.’
Then, the love will increase and it will elevate to a higher level of love. If you want to maintain that love, both of you may come to Gnani (the Enlightened One); you’ll get the right understanding. If two people of the same goal are together, then they can make good progress.
‘I want to increase my love’ is also an expectation. If there is love, then let it be!
Gnani’s love is unconditional i.e. without any expectations or any conditions set for love
Gnani, the Enlightened One’s love is devoid of reactions, frustrations, attachments or abhorrence. Such lovable person’s aura can change the opposite person completely such that he never feels like going away from Him and willingly does what He is told to do. Such is the effect of real love. Hence, who would not want to be blessed by such love?!
How do we be a fountain of love with our relations?
Until there is the impurity of ego involved in a relationship, one can never understand the other person nor the meaning of ‘relation’ in his entire life.
So when you receive ‘Self-realization’ from Gnani and know your real Self; and then under the constant guidance of Gnani, you follow His teachings and gradually eradicate the impurities of ego one-by-one, you too eventually become the fountain of pure love!
When you love the Soul, only then you are able to love others unconditionally, equally and constantly. And love of the Supreme Soul alone has no expectations or self-interest, so such pure love is craved by one and all, always. J…