“You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.” ~ R.Z.
There are so many important things to do in this life, aren’t there?
We have to earn our living, take care of our health, find a good relationship, travel the world, keep learning something new, and the list goes on.
But is there something that trumps every item that’s there on that list?
It’s learning to love ourselves through it all, and that’s the only thing that gets left out, while we’re busy chasing goals and milestones.
That’s because we’re taught everything else except how to love ourselves. The sad part is that we do come into this world filled with love, and as we grow, that love gets lost.
Life becomes a series of milestones and expectations that need to be filled in order to be loved. The chase never stops and most of us end up leading lives filled with discontent, resentment, and feelings of suffocation.
That’s why the most important thing that we could ever do for ourselves is to love ourselves shamelessly and wholeheartedly for who we are.
I can write a bunch of things that will tell you that you don’t love yourself enough, but you already know that, don’t you?
Perhaps, the question that you need to ask yourself is: why?
What stops you from loving yourself?
Probably, it’s because you’ve been told or made to feel that something or the other about you isn’t enough.
Perhaps, your needs haven’t been met for a long time and that has led you to believe that you are the problem, and the more you believe that, the more you get trapped in this cycle of not loving yourself enough.
You probably spend most of your time being harsh and critical of yourself. You often wonder what people think of you and try really hard to fit into their good books. Your fears of being left alone, abandoned, and rejected are always getting the better of you—thus, making you settle for what doesn’t feel enough or even meant for you.
You’re always waiting for someone to love you the way you want to be loved. But guess what: that someone will never be anyone else other than you, because until you learn to love yourself, you’ll never even understand what kind of love you’re truly seeking from another.
You wouldn’t even know what to accept or reject when someone offers you some kind of love.
That’s why loving yourself is the most important thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Will it make you selfish? No. It’s love! Love doesn’t make anyone selfish! It gives you the ability to choose whom you want to love and whom you want to be loved by.
So stop waiting for the perfect time or the perfect someone to come and love you. Stand in the mirror and learn to be that person for yourself.
And while you’re at it, here are a few things to support you on your journey:
1. Unlearn: certain ideas, assumptions, and beliefs that scream, “You’re not enough!” We’re all unique in our own ways, and whatever we have within us, the way we are is enough. You’re good enough and will always learn and grow more. But for that, you have to stop tearing yourself apart and believe that you are enough.
2. Stop: with the constant criticism and focussing only on your negatives. There’re more to you. The question is, are you willing to see that?
3. Build trust: in yourself. Remind yourself that whatever life throws at you, you have handled it and will continue to do so, to the best of your ability.
4. Appreciate yourself: remind yourself every day of all the small things you’ve been able to do. Don’t let your mind trick you into believing that there’s nothing good about you because that’s not true!
5. Behave: like your own best friend. We’re so good at lending an ear, offering comfort and advice to our friends and family (most of us!). But when it comes to our own self, it’s the complete opposite!
6. Write a new story: that is filled with the new ideas, beliefs, ways of being that you want to embody for your own self. If you keep playing the old one, how will you ever move ahead?
Remember, you get to choose and write your own story about yourself every single day. What’s yours going to say?
Tell me in the comments
“You alone are enough, you have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou