A year old,
But I’m still grieving the loss of your
Heartbeat within me.
Outside and discovering the world,
But at the cost of my sanity.
They may say:
Mother, I say,
And a good one at that.
I kiss you goodnight,
Lullabies softly intertwining our eardrums
And I think of how some day you won’t want kisses from mum.
How you won’t need goodnight snuggles.
How you won’t even want a hug.
But I can’t help and cry for future me when
My kisses are turned away by a squeamish
Embarrassed because your friends are around.
I yearn for her.
The mother who did it all,
But some day that may go unrecognized.
I write this in-between shut eyes from
The overflow of tears,
And deep breaths.
I will never again have you this small.
Never again will we be this young.
So, my baby boy,
Allow me to kiss you goodnight,
Once, twice, three times more tonight,
Before I see the fleeting moments in real time.