Ah, Meta/Facebook and its contribution to respectful dialogue/feeding off of and increasing speedy, casual conflict in our society.

Question: When referring to a private, unknown partner (as opposed to Taylor and Travis), is it sexist to identify one by their role in the relationship, instead of their name—or does it honor their more private status?

My view: “Get and agree with your concern, but this is more about him being a public figure and her being a private one ❤.”

Discussion, mostly respectful, followed: 

Cynde: Her name is Susan Getson. I really dislike referencing female spouses as “the wife.” But you made me google her!

Waylon Lewis: Cynde, yes, just watched 20 videos on them! Get and agree with your concern, but this is more about him being a public figure and her being a private one ❤

Terry: Hi Waylon, what’s the connection between Susan Getson being a private figure and referring to her as “his wife” instead of using her name? Or saying, his wife, Susan Getson.

Waylon Lewis: Terry, similar to if I identified Caitlin Clark and her partner. Her partner is largely unknown, and a private figure.

Terry,
So why does Jeff Bridges have a wife but Caitlin Clark has a partner?

Waylon Lewis:
Terry, she’s not married

Hugo:
Cynde, what is your preferred term?

Terry:
Waylon, why partner instead of boyfriend? And why wife instead of partner?

Waylon Lewis: Terry, happy to call Caitlin’s partner or boyfriend a boyfriend or partner. Since you ask, I’m happy to call Jeff’s wife “partner,” that’s what she is and that’s what he is to her.

Cynde: Hugo, their given name

Ellen: So?

Waylon Lewis
Ellen, I love Jeff Bridges, and just watched a few videos on their longstanding marriage and how they went deeper into it. Helpful stuff. He’s also Buddhist-ish, a wise delightful guy.

Joshua:
even a post on deep love can offend some people some how….. Le sigh

Waylon Lewis: watching videos on their path…inspiring man!

Waylon Lewis: [sharing a few inspiring videos, stories about their story]

Jeff Bridges and Susan Geston’s 40-Year Marriage Will Restore Your Faith in Love | Country Living

Waylon Lewis:

Article: Jeff Bridges carries this photo in his wallet from day he met his wife 45 years ago

Jeff Bridges Discusses Meeting Susan Bridges

Christine: I’m not ashamed to say that I photoshopped my face onto Susan’s body in this picture many years ago. It’s in my “Fantasy File” ?

Waylon Lewis: Hah aw. Christine, they are both beautiful in and out, good kind human beings! You have wholesome fantasies ?
Favorite: Fearless, and that one he did with Robin Williams…

Christine: Weeell… not always wholesome, Waylon, but mostly ?

Chloe: Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell’s love child

Ellen: No. Sexist.

Waylon Lewis: ?!

Ellen
naming her “the wife”.

Waylon:
Ellen, see above re Caitlin Clark. I don’t mind you disagreeing, that’s healthy–but calling me sexist is a bridge too far. We can be friends in person– [unfriend, then when another “this is sexist” comment came in, blocked]

Shelby:
She seems nice

In conclusion: who knows. Respect matters, but so does public vs. private figure. Listening and learning with one another in dialogue matters, but calling someone sexist just has a way of ending the conversation, and chilling the relationship. Your thoughts? Genuinely would like to learn, here.

What we do know: social media platforms owned by the very, very rich (usually white men) feed off of and encourage conflict, vs. respectful, friendly, nuanced dialogue and learning.