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{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

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Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential.

Pour into your own cup first, and let the overflow nourish those around you.

Thinking back to 2021 (I still get goosebumps): it was a normal evening after work, I was tired, lying on the sofa, scrolling through my phone, looking for something on YouTube. Then a video stopped me in my tracks. It asked, “Do you pour from an empty cup?”

I froze for a moment. Then there it was, Oprah Winfrey’s words took my breath away and made me realise the importance of filling my own cup before helping others.

It was an eye-opening moment; I played the video without thinking and the message about walking on an empty cup hit home. I saw that I had been walking on an empty self-cup, making me feel cranky, angry, and reactive. It was a call to break free of my limitations.

Curious to learn more, I dug into the details of the energy cup. I discovered a habit of seeking validation, love, and value from others.

Shockingly, I found that I wasn’t filling my cup with self-love, self-worth, self-validation, and self-acceptance. Instead, I was relying on others to do this for me. In short, my self-image wasn’t my image; it was what I thought other people thought of me.

Realising that only I could fill my cup was a great moment. I felt blessed to learn this in my mid-30s and wanted to share this wisdom with others.

Let me share with you what I have learned about the Energy Cup:

The Energy Cup is like an inner safe space that needs daily care in physical, mental, and emotional aspects to function well. If we start the day with an empty cup, we end up asking others to fill it, leading to stress, frustration, and blame.

We often forget that it’s our job to fill our own cup. No one else can replace the joy that comes from self-care, self-love, self-acceptance, and being your true self.

1. Self-care:

First, debunk the myth that self-care is selfish. It’s about strengthening yourself.

Let me debunk another myth for you: everyday activities like spending time with friends, going for a coffee, going to the gym, or walking the dog are not acts of self-care? Now think about how we care for our friends and family: spending time with them, checking up on their well-being, understanding them emotionally and mentally.

Now let’s turn the focus inward. How often do you consciously spend time with yourself? When was the last time you explored your own feelings or identified what makes you ill, happy, or exhausted? Self-care is an ongoing journey of getting to know yourself.

Personally, when I started doing this, I felt immense joy within myself. I felt like I was running behind to know things on the outside, but knowing our inner self is the greatest joy and creating a safe space to feel our feelings is important.

So next time, try going for a coffee or a walk alone, and engage in an inner dialogue like you would with friends.

2. Self-love:

Self-love is the bridge to all love! Love goes beyond mere romance; it’s deeper than attraction and passion. True love involves unconditional acceptance, accepting something or someone as they are. You can’t truly love something if you only accept it when it changes.

Love yourself as you want others to love and see you. When you love yourself, you naturally invite love from others without heavy expectations. Operate from a full cup with minimal expectations.

I always expected others to love me, to see me, to validate my feelings. It takes a while to practice self-love, but once you get there it is totally worth it. You become the most important person in your life, your needs matter too, and you model the same behaviour for your children.

Here’s an affirmation to guide you: “I acknowledge that true love is about unconditional acceptance, and I commit to applying this principle to myself and others.”

3. Self-acceptance:

Let go of trying to be perfect. Accept yourself with all your imperfections.

I spent my whole young adult life trying to be accepted by everyone in the family, at college, and even at work.  I was a good girl. Have you ever heard of good girl syndrome? It’s another topic to discuss but that’s what I was. I was constantly trying to please everyone around me to be seen and heard. I was the person who thought if you think I am smart then I am smart and if you think I am stupid then I am stupid. I saw myself through other people’s lenses.

Your quirks, your flaws, and everything that makes you you—it’s a tapestry of individuality. It’s not about being flawless; it’s about growing and evolving and showing up for yourself. Replace self-criticism with kind, encouraging words. Remember that you’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough. Take a moment to reflect on your journey and appreciate how far you’ve come.

Caring for your energy cup is a commitment to a joyful life. By focusing on self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance, you free yourself from relying on others for happiness.

Join us on this journey as we learn to fill our own cups and embrace a truly happy life.

Unlock the potential for deep joy and fulfilment by incorporating self-care and self-love into your daily life. Often overlooked, these practices are the cornerstone of a balanced and rewarding existence. Begin your journey today by filling your energy cup with the richness of self-care and self-love. Witness the positive changes in your life as you cultivate a deeper connection with yourself and those around you.

Here’s an additional self-care tip for those struggling to find time: Schedule appointments for yourself just as you would for others—aim for at least two per week.

Share with me in the comments what your favourite method is for filling your energy cup!

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