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The way you treat yourself has a profound impact on your health and well-being.

What is self-empathy, and why can it seem so elusive despite its benefits?

Often, it feels easier to empathize with others than with ourselves. Self-empathy involves a commitment to treating yourself with care rather than shame or punishment, especially when you make mistakes. You might initially push yourself too hard, grow impatient with your progress, or criticize yourself for falling short at work or in your relationships. Quickness to self-hate or blame can turn these into no-win situations. This is why self-empathy is essential for becoming a healthy, empowered, and empathic person.

Because of the absolute importance of this subject, I’ve devoted a complete chapter to it in my book The Genius of Empathy which is available on your favorite online booksellers or bookstores. Please review this information in the chapter to get a sense of why I’m framing self-empathy as a healing force in your life. To begin practicing self-empathy here are 8 tips.

8 Tips to Build Self-Empathy

1. Treat yourself with as much kindness as you treat others.

2. Honor your own needs rather than always putting everyone else first.

3. Have self-compassion for yourself during hard times, rather than blaming and shaming.

4. Set respectful boundaries with unhealthy behavior.

5. Give yourself permission to be around supportive, positive people.

6. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake.

7. Allow yourself to receive other people’s caring, help, and love.

8. Be happy with yourself when you do things well.

In addition, practice the following healing affirmation, which I recommend to my patients as a way to access self-empathy and promote self-healing. During the day, keep repeating it to lessen stress or to simply feel good.

I breathe deeply. My body is relaxed.

I am moving forward toward wellness and ease.

Self-empathy means accepting that you are human and can learn and grow. Of course, you will make mistakes or have regrets. You may move forward, slip backward, then move ahead again. You are not perfect. None of us are. Thank goodness. Perfection is so boring! I love the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which sees imperfections as beautiful and interesting. We are all messy and extraordinary at the same time. Self-empathy starts with being willing to accept your less-than-best qualities as well as your stellar ones.

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