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We’re solidly into spring, and for me that means two things.

One: my favorite season is right around the corner. And two: I’ll spend a few weeks driving all over San Diego fitting in my yearly doctors’ appointments. (There are more as you get older, not surprisingly.)

This year, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Life has been nothing short of tumultuous and I hoped new health issues wouldn’t be added to the list of things to contend with. Thankfully, my wish was granted.

Not only am I healthy, but it turns out I’m exceptionally healthy, with every test and blood panel returning results better than the last. Even my biometric scale showed that I’ve aged backwards—my body is three years younger than my chronological age.

I might be the female version of Benjamin Button! Time will tell.

My doctors all agreed that the few medications I’ve been taking can take a hike. In fact, my cardiologist used the words, “You’re profoundly boring and that’s a very good thing.”

I thanked him for his guidance this past year in helping me to get to where I am now. That’s when he looked me in the eyes and said:

“Don’t thank me. Thank yourself. I can’t even say it’s due to medication because you’re taking what I consider to be homeopathic doses at this point. This is a result of the changes you’ve made. You’re in the green zone. Celebrate and enjoy.”

Every appointment that followed, whether it was with my primary care doctor, “electrical” cardiologist, oncologist, dentist, orthodontist, or ophthalmologist was the same. I truly was in “the green zone.”

I summarized the life changes I’ve made this past year and, difficult as they’ve been, one doctor thanked me for my positivity and said he would carry it with him throughout the day, while another had tears in her eyes and said I inspired her. After every appointment, I’d sit in my car for a bit, thank the Universe (and myself—doctor’s orders), and shed happy tears of gratitude.

In years past, I’d leave the oncologist after hugging patients I didn’t know and tell them I was heading straight to the beach to run for them because they could not. I know how lucky I am. This year, though, within minutes of shedding those happy tears in my car, they turned to sad, confused tears as I heard the doctor’s words, “Celebrate and enjoy.”

How can I possibly be in “the green zone” when I feel so sad, lost, and defeated? On paper it made sense: I’m a healthy eater for the most part, I exercise most every day, dance, write, and go to therapy. My body is telling me I’m on the right path, even if I don’t feel like it.

A still, small voice whispered the answer to me—“Trust. Just trust.”

That’s when it occurred to me: not trusting myself was where I went wrong last year, and after so many moments of not listening to my intuition, my higher self, and even my rational self, my body stepped in and took over in a dramatic, “you-can’t-ignore-this” manner, landing me in the hospital on my 49th birthday.

And yet, even then I didn’t listen. (More on why in another yet-to-be-written article.)

Sadly, it took another five months before I finally realized if I didn’t make changes, I’d be in the danger zone. I was likely already there.

Those changes weren’t as simple as what I was eating or the type of exercise I was doing. I’m talking big, fat, ugly, hard life changes that I was forced into. And while I was scared as ever to take them on, when my dear friend and spiritual guide visited me, she said, “It’s okay, baby girl. Sometimes you require extremes, and the Universe has delivered. Now you know. You can do this.”

And I have. It’s been six long months of changes—some intentional, most coming out of nowhere, and absolutely none of them easy.

You might know the parable of the drowning man who refused the help of two boats and a helicopter only to learn after his death that those interventions were essentially the help he had asked God for. But he made the mistake of thinking the help would be more “miraculous” than a boat or helicopter.

It’s easy for us to judge and question why the drowning man wouldn’t recognize the help as the answer to his prayers, but isn’t it always easy to judge when we’re not the drowning man struggling to stay afloat? I had sign after sign after sign, including rattlesnakes at my feet, wild birds flying into my bedroom, two hospital visits, heart monitor reports pinpointing exact moments when my literal and figurative heart knew what was happening in front of my eyes wasn’t right, and yet, I didn’t listen—until I had no other choice.

I made the drowning man look like Einstein.

So, now what? Like that still, small voice whispers to me almost daily, I trust. Even when my emotional, mental, and rational selves are in flux, my physical body is not. It’s consistently “green,” and for that, I am grateful.

I now have sound data that I’m on the right path, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I will let my body lead the way and keep the trains moving through the station as my emotional, mental, and rational selves work to catch up, moving from red to yellow to green.

Something tells me I’m almost there, and I’ll trust that just like I do my body now.

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