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My mother met my father when she was still in high school.

I don’t know the details of how they met but I do know she dropped out of high school to marry him in 1971. There was no need to continue with school. He would take care of her.

As a young bride, her only job was to tend to her husband until she later gave birth to four children. She played along in her womanly role and was happy in her life.

Until one day she found herself alone to care for her four children and had nowhere to go.

I witnessed my mother go back to school to complete her diploma. Attend college and get a degree. And work multiple jobs, juggling several at the same time until she found herself in her forever career as a State Police Officer where she has since retired.

She was a girl boss.

And as she raised her children through it all, she had one important lesson to teach her daughters: don’t ever let a man take care of you. You need to be able to take care of yourself, no exceptions.

She also taught this to her son, as one day he would take a wife and he had to understand that he needed to love, respect, and support a strong independent woman.

I grew up in a house where my mother mixed and poured her own cement when we needed a new walkway. She installed new windows throughout the house instead of hiring a handyman. She even hung a new front door with no help from anyone.

She did everything on her own.

She was the woman who worked on her vehicle when she needed to fix a flat, change the oil, and install a new battery.

Girl boss, right?

It was no wonder I became a girl boss; it was written in my DNA.

Even my brother understood the assignment. When he married, he proudly encouraged his wife to take her career to the next level. He supported and even encouraged her to be a strong independent woman.

I was proud to be a girl boss.

But in the peak of my dating era, I was surprised when an elderly woman coworker gave me unwanted advice and told me to keep my independence and success to myself when dating. She said seriously, “Strong women intimidate men.” She even told me I needed to act like a “damsel in distress” if I wanted to find a husband. “Men want women who need them. They don’t marry strong women.”

What?

This can’t be right. Women were extremely strong, independent, and successful. You can’t tell me that men are actually intimidated by a strong and successful woman.

I called my mother right away to complain about her life’s lesson gone wrong. “Mom, you raised me to be a strong independent woman; now no one will marry me because I’m too strong!” She quietly listened as I continued with my rant. I had a ton more to say.

Once I finished, she cleared her throat and said, “The right man won’t be intimidated.” I was so distraught, and I ended our conversation. She was just saying anything to get out of it with me.

My coworker’s words stuck in my head for years swirling around as I weaved in and out of relationships.

Despite the fact that I was proud to be a girl boss, I started hiding the strong, successful, and independent woman I was. I kept it to myself when dating. The truth was, I wanted to meet someone, fall in love, and get married. It was a small sacrifice I was willing to make to find my soulmate. I did not want to end up alone.

I leaned into my feminine.

But I am who I am and that strong independent women shined through in every relationship sooner or later.

Over time, I could see that my girl boss vibe got in the way of a number of relationships. Strong women did in fact intimidate men. But not all men.

Strong women intimidate weak and narcissistic men.

They look at strong women as some sort of competition. And the only way to make themselves feel better is to try to make them feel like they aren’t good enough.

Weak and narcissistic men belittle women.

Weak and narcissistic men lie.

Weak and narcissistic men cheat.

He will do anything to break her so he feels he is above her.

Yet, he won’t let her leave because he knows deep down that she’s a good woman and he doesn’t want a good man to get his hands on her.

My mother was right. Being a strong independent woman would attract the right man. The right man wouldn’t be intimidated.

She will meet a strong and confident man. Because when she meets a strong and confident man, he is confident in who he is and won’t compete with her; they will work together as a team.

He is proud of her success. He puts her up on a pedestal and treats her success as if it is his own. It’s a win for both of them.

He is attracted to her independence, which makes him crave her even more than he already does. Independence is sexy as f*ck.

He is amazed by the fire that lives within her and openly tells the world she is his. Her fire is intoxicating, and he can’t live without her.

So if being a strong and independent woman weeds out all the weak and narcissistic men, so be it.

I will absolutely hold out for that strong and confident man to come my way.

I am proud as f*ck to be a strong, independent, and successful woman.

I am a goddamn girl boss.

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