How many times have you really wanted something and felt so frustrated when you didn’t get it?

Maybe it was a job you interviewed for or a date with a new person you were hoping would work out.

When our expectations are not met, it’s easy to feel rejected. But how many times did not getting what you wanted actually work out to your benefit later on down the road?

Maybe it didn’t make sense at the time, and you were disappointed or hurt or irritated, but it actually worked out in your favor. Maybe rejection is just redirection. Maybe it’s just the universe gently guiding us on our journey.

When I was searching for a job last year, I came across a listing that really caught my eye. The job description perfectly aligned with my experience. I applied and they contacted me right away for an interview. I made it through several rounds of interviews and then anxiously awaited their decision. I thought I had it in the bag.

About a week later, I received an email from the hiring manager saying they had gone in a different direction. I was really pissed off because I was so sure I was getting the job that I didn’t even consider the possibility that I might not get it. A few weeks later, I heard from an old friend that the place I had interviewed at was actually a complete sh*tshow. She told me I had dodged a bullet.

A few weeks after that, I found the job post for my current job. Saying I love my new job is an understatement. “Love” isn’t even the right word. This job is so perfectly suited for me; like it was custom made just for me. I could not be happier.

Maybe not getting what we thought we wanted is actually divine intervention. Maybe forces greater than us are at play.

I am not a religious person—never have been. I was raised Catholic, but none of it ever resonated with me. I went to Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD) classes and made my first Communion and confirmation, but I never felt close to God. Or even believed that God existed. I still don’t. To be honest, organized religion creeps me out. But that’s a discussion for a different time.

After turning 40, I really started examining myself and my life. I left an unhealthy marriage and built a new life for myself and my daughters. Once I started putting myself and my happiness first, my outlook started to change. It was easy for me to connect with the idea that the universe might be guiding me on my journey to discover my best self. While I might not believe in God, I do believe there are forces greater than us out there. To me, the universe is God.

What I’m discovering is that the more I align my actions and behaviors with my goals, the more the universe is providing some much-needed clarity. What I once viewed as complete devastation now makes more sense to me. The relationships that didn’t work out, the friendships that didn’t last, the jobs that weren’t offered. I’m starting to truly understand what my purpose in this life is all about, and how certain things had to end in order for me to get here.

I know it’s really hard to do, but I encourage you to try to reframe your thoughts about rejection. Maybe those rejections are leading you exactly where you need to be.

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