I recently celebrated the birthday of one of my closest friends.

Over the past years, we have often celebrated in one-on-one intimate gatherings, which is one of my favourite ways to celebrate, because in my experience, the smaller the group, the more focused we are with our intentions, the more meaning we make of this special day.

Large gatherings can be a lot of fun, but they tend to turn out like wedding parties, holiday parties, and while it’s great for a catch-up, it’s not necessarily focused on becoming the version of our dream selves, because let’s face it: when we up-level our energy, we tend to lose and shed our current circle of friends and acquaintances—if their frequencies aren’t matching with ours.

Many “friends” would want to pull us down to stay in this crab bucket; others would give us horrible advice and project onto us their own issues and demons. I’ve seen it happen to too many friends, but when we manage to break free from this bucket, we will be glad that they’ve removed themselves from our orbit. This is why I find, when we are in vulnerable energy, inconsistent energy, about to break-into-a-new-me energy, about-to-birth-a-new-idea energy, intimate gatherings and solo celebrations will be more sacred to us, as opposed to larger, more superficial celebrations, because birthday season is perhaps our most powerful energetic period of the year.

Like celebrating a new year, think of this moment as an energetic portal. Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches that our aura can extend up to three meters, radiating our thoughts, emotions, and intentions outward. While we can fake behaviors, we cannot fake our aura. This is why birthdays are an ideal time for reflection, intention-setting, redirection, and manifestation. By honoring this heightened energy through ritual, we can align more deeply with our desires and the person we wish to become.

Solo Celebrations: A Time for Personal Alignment

I’ll be the first to say that spending time alone is far better than spending time in bad company. Spending birthdays alone can be a deeply nourishing experience. It frees you of care-taking duties; it frees you of societal or familial obligations. It’s a luxurious moment in space to pause, reflect, release, and set the tone for the year ahead. What are we releasing so that we have space to receive? And what are we open to receiving?

Vision Boarding and Desire Lists

One of the most powerful birthday rituals is creating a vision board and/or a desire list. This is the perfect time to align with our future self. I often go through all the magazines, cards, papers, and notes I’ve gathered over the past year, and use this time to cut out the specific images that speak to me. We can also choose to update our previous vision board. What has manifested? What remains there?

In addition to visualizing, I also deeply believe in the power of words. So set a timer for 15 minutes, grab a big piece of blank paper, and start writing down everything you want in this life—no questions about “how,” no doubts, no “but,” or “I can’t,” just everything your heart desires, big and small. Don’t stop until the 15 minutes is up. The act of putting them on paper signals to the universe (and to your subconscious) that these things matter. Revisiting this list throughout the year can serve as a guidepost to keep you in alignment with your goals.

Shift Your Perspective

I always remember that “power is positional,” something I learned in my undergrad days studying political science. A change in physical perspective can lead to a change in mental perspective. Where we place ourselves has a huge impact on us, so consider celebrating in a setting that expands your view—literally and metaphorically. Some places I love are: rooftops, mountain tops, ski lifts, bridges, somewhere where you can overlook the vastness of a city, have a bird’s-eye view of it all.

Or take a flight somewhere new. I love long-haul flights and long-haul train rides. I love moving in this capsule, and having my thoughts catch up with me. This is precious time to reflect, set intentions, browse through magazines, and write your desire lists. If travel isn’t an option, even standing on a balcony or hill can provide a sense of clarity—whatever you do, get yourself elevated, and see how that changes how you breathe, how you feel, how you feel about your future.

Engage the Senses

Our surroundings influence our energy. The more empathic we are, or the more porous we are, we allow this energy to become ours. So, here are some ways to infuse our day with small sensory rituals designed to elevate our frequency:

Greenery in your space: If you can’t make it to a spa or nature, bring spa and nature to you. A eucalyptus bundle in the shower can do wonders. Even a simple herb like parsley on your kitchen counter can bring unexpected joy. I don’t even like parsley, and I was amazed at how happy it made me feel just looking at the bushy bunch of green every time I passed by the kitchen.

Bath in planetary light—Sunrise and Sunset, and Moon Observance: One of my favourite ways to “bookend” the day is by intentionally witnessing sunrise and sunset. I also love locating the moon at night, and read to the moon my gratitude and desire list. A dear friend has this moon ritual, where she places a crystal bowl of water underneath the moon, puts rose petals in and a big piece of crystal inside the bowl, and lets it bathe in the moonlight overnight, and she uses this to wash her face the next day. As we know, crystals carry their own energy, so whichever crystal we place into this bowl will also add its own energy.

Body indulgence: Whether it’s a long bath, a massage, or just wearing something that feels luxurious, prioritize self-care.

Intimate Gatherings: Deep Reflection with Loved Ones

Intimate gatherings allow us to be seen and heard by those we cherish the most. Oftentimes, these gatherings give us a safe space to be truly and wholly who we are, so celebrating with these special people in our lives can be a meaningful way to reflect and connect. So, in addition to all the solo rituals above, which we can expand to include our VIP circle, here are some more rituals we can incorporate:

Intentional Reflection

A beautiful practice is listing moments of joy, challenge, and transformation from the past year. To deepen the experience, match the number of reflections to your age (e.g., 25 moments from being 25). You can also set new intentions and share them with those you trust. Speaking your goals aloud adds an element of accountability and affirmation.

Memory Sharing and Future Creating

Invite guests to share a memory they’ve created with you over the past year, and one they would like to create with you in the coming year. This strengthens bonds and provides a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the relationships in your life.

Group Celebrations: Collective Energy and Wisdom

For those who thrive on social energy, we can harness group wisdom from a larger gathering:

Advice Across Ages

Ask each guest to offer a piece of wisdom they wish they had known when they were your age. This sparks insightful conversation and allows for intergenerational learning. Some of the best advice and warnings I’ve received have come this way. So, ask your guests: how did they celebrate their birthday at this age? What did they wish they had known? And what can they tell you?

The Gift Jar Game

Birthdays and gifts have become synonymous in many ways, and depending on your own personality, you may love this or are uncomfortable with this. I have known great givers who are uncomfortable with receiving. So interestingly enough, gift giving and receiving can be indicators of whether we are in a scarcity or abundance mindset.

Without diving down the rabbit hole of gifting psychology (which I suggest as additional reading), I wanted to share one of the most meaningful gifting elements I’ve come across in all my gifting years. Instead of traditional gifts, create a jar where each guest contributes an “offering” on a sticky note. These can be handwritten notes of encouragement, small tokens, or experiences like “coffee on me,” “dinner at my place,” or “free baby sitter for three sessions.” The birthday person can keep the entire jar (for those comfortable receiving), or it can be passed around so everyone at the table receives a gift (for those who love giving). This turns gift giving into a shared experience rather than a material exchange. The “offerings” can be guided by the birthday person’s desire list, or can be determined by the guests—what they would be willing to offer, or a mix of both, as it’s uncertain whether the jar will stay with the birthday person or passed around. But all in all, it’s to elevate energy during this time.

Closing Thoughts: A Celebration of Energy

No matter how you choose to celebrate, the most important aspect of a birthday ritual is harnessing the heightened energy of the day to align with your highest self. Whether through quiet reflection, intimate conversations, or collective joy and wisdom, these rituals remind us of who we are, who we are becoming, and inspire us to move in the direction of our dreams.

By honoring our birthdays with intention, gratitude, and an open heart, we are moving toward the person we wish to become, with high frequency. So, however we feel about birthdays, let’s harness this powerful time and metabolize our feelings to manifest our best year yet.

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