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You know that feeling when you finally block a number, delete the texts, promise yourself you’re done—only to find yourself still thinking about them days (or months) later? Yeah. That’s not just nostalgia. That’s an energy cord still in full effect.

These invisible threads keep us tethered to people, situations, and old emotional loops—even long after we think we’ve moved on.

They’re like Wi-Fi signals connecting us to dynamics that no longer serve us, draining our energy while we’re just out here trying to live our best lives.

The problem? Most people think they can just cut the cord and call it a day. But if you don’t get to the root—why the cord formed, why you kept feeding it, and how to stop reattaching—you’ll end up cutting the same cord over and over again. Same pattern, different outfit.

What I had to Learn (the Hard Way) about Untethering

Over the last few years, I’ve had to have some incredibly tough conversations. I’ve had to untether from friendships and relationships that, on the surface, still “worked” but at a deeper level were no longer aligned.

Not because I stopped loving those people. Not because I wanted to “cut them off” in some harsh, unforgiving way. But because I finally saw the energy exchange for what it was—and I could no longer justify giving more than I was receiving.

I had to accept that:

>> Just because a connection has history doesn’t mean it has a future. Some relationships were built on versions of myself that no longer exist.

>> Staying attached out of guilt or obligation only drains both people. The most loving thing I could do wasn’t to hold on—it was to release.

>> My energy is my greatest currency. And if I don’t actively choose where it goes, someone else will.

The moment I truly untethered, everything shifted. Some people respected it. Some tried to reattach. But when I got clear on my needs, my boundaries, and my energy, I stopped negotiating with what drained me. And that changed everything.

So how do you start untangling yourself? Let’s get into it.

Step 1: Identify where your Energy is being Hijacked.

Not all energetic cords are bad—some connect us to people and experiences that uplift and support us. The issue is when a cord keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

Ask yourself:

>> Who or what drains my energy the most? (That one situation or person that leaves you feeling wiped.)

>> Where do I keep looping in my thoughts or emotions? (What you can’t stop thinking about is usually an active energy cord.)

>> Am I constantly over-giving, overthinking, or over-attached in certain relationships? (If you feel emotionally hijacked, there’s a reason.) If so, this is a you issue that you need to unpack.

The moment you name it, you start reclaiming your power.

Step 2: Separate your Energy from Theirs.

Energy cords thrive on blurry boundaries. If you don’t know where you end and another person begins, it’s easy to take on their emotions, their expectations, and their needs—at the expense of your own.

Here’s how to start defining what’s yours and what’s not:

>> Use the “Is this mine?” test. When you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask: Is this even my emotion, or am I absorbing someone else’s? If it’s not yours, send it back.

>> Visualize your energy field. Imagine your body surrounded by a clear, protective boundary. If someone’s energy is entangled with yours, see it untangle and pull back into its rightful place.

>> Practice the art of not engaging. If a conversation, text, or social media interaction pulls at you, don’t respond immediately. Give yourself space. If it’s draining, it doesn’t deserve instant access.

Step 3: Disrupt the Attachment (without the Drama).

Most people think releasing energy cords means severing ties aggressively—cue the dramatic exits, the “I’m done with you” declarations, the social media purges. That’s not necessary.

Cords weaken when you stop feeding them. Try this:

>> Shift the way you engage. If someone keeps pulling at your energy, respond differently. Less emotional investment, less explaining, less overextending.

>> Close the mental tabs. If you keep replaying the same conversation or outcome, ask yourself: What am I looking for? Resolution? Validation? If it’s not coming, give it to yourself and let the loop close.

>> Reclaim your energy with purpose. Every time you catch yourself feeding an old attachment, take a deep breath and say: “I call all of my energy back to me now.” Simple, but powerful.

Step 4: Stop the Reattachment Before it Starts.

Ever notice how the moment you start moving on, the person you detached from suddenly “feels” it and tries to reconnect? That’s because energy cords work both ways— when you start pulling away, the other person senses the shift. It might feel like a missing limb to them, so naturally they will work to reattach it.

Here’s how to hold your ground:

>> Expect the reattachment attempt. It’s not personal; it’s just the energetic dynamic shifting. Prepare for it.

>> Strengthen your boundaries. Reinforce what you will and won’t accept. If it’s not a full yes, it’s a no.

>> Fill the space. When you release a connection, fill the gap with something intentional. Otherwise, the same energy will try to creep back in.

Your Energy, Your Rules.

Letting go isn’t just about “cutting people off.” It’s about getting clear on what’s yours, what’s not, and what you’re no longer available for.

Cords form because, at some point, we chose to engage. But the same way we created them, we can choose to release them.

Your energy is your greatest asset. Protect it. Redirect it. Own it.

~