Not wanting to take my private issue public,

however I felt compelled once I saw an Instagram post “Messages To Unlearn If You Want
To Prioritize Your Mental Health”. It had a behavior column, ideas to unlearn, and ideas to learn. In the ideas to unlearn it referenced  “unlearning the idea you are “selfish, rude, or needy.””

I actually did not think of myself as needy ( or the other two). I have always felt a bit weird about “asking” for help or “needing” support. I have tried to be mindful that I’m not an emotional toll, tho, when I am open about what’s going on in my life with my close friends.

Isn’t that what friends/family/strangers are for? Connection and even fulfilling the need of community with that?

I was recently referred to as “needy” by a former close friend who doesn’t know the whole story of my past ( something quite traumatic happened). I’m not a point where I can publicly share it, I barely can speak of it with said close friends… 

Well, my close friend chose to dismiss my “needs”, since I’ve been quote  – off and on “needy”, since I’ve known her.

And yes, I can respect that she set boundaries for herself. However, the big picture is she just chose to ignore what I was being vulnerably open about.

I am not going into specifics to defend myself to this statement. It’s not warranted, either.

This “needy” comment was made  during a time where my life was falling apart, mentally and physically. I was vulnerably open and direct about what I was experiencing, best I could. And she remarked to a friend that she just doesn’t give me much thought since my issues seem to recurring and I’m “needy”. 

I’m sharing this small, yet significant private part of my life, hoping it’ll help one of you reading and know that you are not “needy”.

              ( not for attention or pity)

My God. I rarely refer to anyone as “needy” ( in a dismissive and derogatory manner).
WE ALL HAVE NEEDS. Wth. I express myself. I’m proud I can be vulnerable, and no I don’t need to lay out my trauma to have that friend learn that her

“needy” comment was really off base and not supportive.

Call someone “needy”.

• And I’ll tell you how you don’t seem to be “needy” and will list all the ways your needs are met because you have friends/ family who care and you are self reliant, etc. And hence, why you may not feel needy in comparison to others.

• Or, I’ll list all the ways you hide your needs that are unmet. And go on about your life, with that hanging over you.

Remove “needy” as a derogatory word out of your lexicon, people.

Words are important to me. What words are used, how they are used.

I am not needy.

You are not needy.

We are all human beings who all have similar and different needs. And the ways they are met/unmet.

I feel like I’ve had to over explain myself ( withholding certain trauma info) to certain people to be understood and make that term be less dismissive and that’s tiresome and not fun.

I am not a Debbie downer, I am not a “problem” person. I don’t beg for help or attention.

I am dealing with some hard things right now.

I will not be invalidated by careless remarks.

Treasure the folks who try their best to support you, even if they don’t always understand.

It’s okay to guide them to better support you, too.

Mental health is very important to me.

I think this country (and  the world) is having a mental health crisis.

Mental health, just like physical health takes

work.

Prioritize it. Live a happy, well rounded, healthy life.

It’s not easy.

I’m rooting for you.

Here for you.

Be the person who sees and fills someone else’s need today, maybe without them asking or realizing they needed it.

You just see and do.

( Be mindful of boundaries)

Without making it a show, without making

them feel a burden. Without making them feel less than human for accepting help and care.

Take care of each other out there, folks ♥️