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September 9, 2022

Motherhood. Flex in the Flux

Motherhood is a constant state of transitions.

Whether you’re in the newborn stage or you have a few small children, you’re in a constant state of trying to take care of yourself while tending to a myriad of needs.

It’s overwhelming, can be stressful, and there’s so much stimulation. There are constant noises going off, a constant stream of things being needed, and you’re always in a state of motion unless you truly carve out micro moments for yourself in the day, in your week and in your life in motherhood.

Today could be a an ordinary day but it’s a day like many moms experience where you feel completely trapped in the amount of stuff pulling out you that your kids need and you feel that parental burnout swelling within you.

You know what can help you get out of that frenzy fast?

A mother’s helper or a family member or something to give you 1-2 hours to let your nervous system reset.

I know many talk about the village and frankly, a lot of time you don’t even know where the village is.

Many moms today have friends with young children and you barely have the bandwidth to care of your own at time so taking on extra kids today just seems like an act of more overwhelm.

What ends up being really practical when you have young kids is to really flex into the flux.

When you see that wave of overwhelm coming and overstimulation, call mercy.

Ask your partner or a mother’s helper to come by and support you.  Sometimes 1-2 hours can make all the difference.

The motherhood gig is a 24/7 role that is hard and demanding.  It’s not healthy to be spending all of the waking hours with your kids and all the needs that come with it.

You have to flex into the flux.  It means, knowing when that red light is going off and giving yourself permission to get support. And regular support.

Motherhood has many transitions.

Postpartum also doesn’t last for just six weeks or a few months.  The first year and years are challenging. We are postpartum for a very long time.

It’s often when the help you had may disappear and yet there’s still so much that you need help and support.

So today, I was grateful for about two hours I had some support to putter around the house and let my emotions and overwhelm go back to low tide.  I literally felt it go back to low tide.

Every stage has plenty of moments where you feel like the tides are raging.

As mother’s we continue to learn to let the emotions come up so we can acknowledge them, see them, and keep asking for what we need.

There are so many unmet needs.

But we keep trying.  We keep listening to what we need for ourselves.

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