Accept Nothing Less

“She used to believe that love
should feel like
a storm,
passionate,
raw and raging

But so many storms
have come
and left her
more broken than before

Now she looks for a love
that feels like
a night
after the storm
is over.”

~Cynthia Go // The calm after the storm

I want friendship.

Quick comebacks and laughter because we share the same sense of humor; inside jokes and winks across crowded rooms; dancing or being playful, not caring about the opinions of others.

I want simplicity.

Heading to the creek with some bait and a six pack instead of a fancy dinner date; being comfortable in our silence, not feeling the need to make idle conversation, knowing we can just relax.

I want vulnerability.

Discussing our lives and our pasts without fear of judgement; accepting each other’s insecurities; comforting each other if or when the tears fall.

I want freedom.

A wine night with the girls or weekend trips with the guys, without guilt, because we want each other to have a life outside of what we share and we understand we each have our own journey.

I want honesty.

Being truthful and respecting each other for it. Lies lead to pain and no one needs more of that.

I want challenge.

Supportively calling each other out when it’s needed. We are both human and understand honesty has no gray area. We’re here to help each other grow.

I want security.

Finding comfort in the fact that we CHOOSE to share this, not out of duty, not because of a title, but, because we recognize the connection and all it has to offer.

I have lived through many relationships that were the opposite of these things, it only led to pain. I accepted what wasn’t meant for me, clung to it, because I had no self worth and wasn’t honest with myself.

We often hold onto pain, change ourselves or mute our desires out of fear of rejection or the idea that it shows weakness. This type if thinking leads us off our path, closes us off to our own hearts and deters us from the love we deserve.

Not long ago, a friend did me the greatest favor, probably without realizing the impact it would have….he, gently, but, honestly, called me out on my own bullshit. This simple act, just 3 little words, “No, you’re not.”, changed my life on a level I’d not known before. The introspection that has followed is changing how I internally handle pain and stress, caused me to be completely honest with myself and allowed me to begin freeing myself of old pain that has weighed down my life for decades.

It’s a work in progress. Digging up the old stuff to look it in the face then let it go takes time and, some days, more fortitude than seems possible. A large part of this is recognizing our own contributions to what has happened or been missed in our lives. We don’t change overnight, but, for me, the more immediate part was finally knowing what I want for my life in terms of love and even friendships.

I hope each of you find someone with the bravery to call you on your bullshit, to say whatever it is that snaps you awake and sets you back on your path.

Learn what you want, know what you deserve and accept nothing less. Until then….do the dirty work, dig deep and be unapologetically honest with yourself. If you can’t accept yourself, no one else can.

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