Anxiety Alert: It’s okay to feel emotions physically as well.

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I wish someone had entrusted me with this secret when I initially and timidly began trekking down the path of my anxiety discovery. I was truly terrified the first time I consciously remember experiencing the physical representation of fear, snaking its way up my arm in the same manner a busted balloon darts out of control within its enclosure, the pounding pressure following to cement itself deep within my chest cavity. To be honest I was equally terrified after the 100th reoccurrence of this episode as well, and I feel as though it’s because we are not engaging in enough meaningful conversations about the importance of our emotional intelligence as adults.

We are taught from a young age how to recognize different emotions; children’s books full of illustrations reinforcing that angry is represented through deep and blunt shades of red and creased eyebrows, while love is soft and pink with blushing cheeks. What these childhood lessons aren’t delving into is how angry can also sit like a fist of fire inside the pit of our stomach. It can turn our muscular system into what feels like a pin cushion, stabbing it’s way up our arms and legs, and leave an unnervingly tingling numbness in our kneecaps.

Angry can leave us feeling as though a grand piano has been pushed over to rest atop our chest and our throats are suddenly full of cotton balls, making breathing a much more challenging feat that ought to never be taken for granted.

All of these physical effects might be manageable at some level, but because no one else can see what is happening, no one else is able to recognize the symptoms for what they are and offer us assistance and/or reassurance. Instead, we are left alone with a mind entering the ‘flight or fight zone’ and a stream of threatening and irrational thoughts to confirm our worst assumptions (that something is drastically wrong!). All of this continues while the actual root of the emotion whirlwinds through our minds, kicking up dust and sucking down rationality to ensure that nowhere in the body emulates any kind of safe haven where we might sit to gather our thoughts.

Emotions are hitting me this hard on a daily basis, and it has taken a number of years to land on the realization that it is perfectly safe to feel the physical elements being demonstrated. We are okay when noticing the alarming physical representations of varying situations, thoughts, and feelings inside our bodies. A huge aspect of anxiety is simply ‘fear of the unknown’, and personally, these emotional displays were the root cause of my fear. I took myself to the hospital name dropping a list of physical ailments longer than Jackson’s chart-toppers on more than one occasion, until I learned to recognize the signs and symptoms as friends. I sat with fear, welcoming in his necessary presence as a respected emotion, and let him linger without resistance. With this freedom (achievable through controlled thoughts and focused breath), I was then able to move along fear to ensure he didn’t over-stay the welcome invitation, and invite sadness/love/guilt to the party one by one to each display their unique characteristics. This emotional based meditation was the first true relief I had established for myself in regards to any anxiety based progress. Our bodies are the easel to the painting of our emotions – the deeper our awareness and understanding of this runs, the significantly higher chances are we can replace some of our personal doubts with self-love and in turn dish out some much-needed lovin’ to those with similar sufferings around us.

This is an important message because we have much work ahead of us, dear friends. The irrationally delicate emotional sensations are not just subject to those of us with anxiety; we all feel them as a collective. Some of us may be more in tune with this intimate relationship than others, but a conscious awareness of the emotional existence and potential impacts on our bodies is a profoundly positive first step. May we work together to eliminate the fear surrounding our bodies’ natural expression, and in turn use this newfound acceptance and knowledge to educate our friends, our work husbands, our cute neighbors, and our youngsters (because the pros of building a network of gentle support far outweigh any imaginative cons).

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