ARE BREAKS HEALTHY IN FRIENDSHIPS?.

In our lives, we meet lots of people. Some we choose to connect deeper with, and with some we want just to be acquaintances. With others, we interact for a couple of months. Maybe life brought us together because we work in the same place or we engage the same activities.Then when we change our jobs and those activities, our friendships die.

Is there some embedded system? Based on the of kind of environment we grew up in, maybe all kinds of people we interacted with in our childhood define our search and our soul’s deepest  need for interacting with somebody who will understand us, with whom we can grow, have their unlimited support, who will inspire us and illuminate our path with their way of thinking and living.

Perhaps, all is written in our DNA. The people we are drawn to, the others with whom we don’t want to be too close, and others kind of people that just don’t suit our preferences for friendship.

There comes a point in life where we need to respect ourselves more and wisely choose with whom we are interacting. Yet, this process of elimination is very hard.

I was raised in a family where it was normal to stop interacting with someone with whom you didn’t resonate anymore in a deeper and healthy way and to tell them directly. Yet, I was never capable to do so. Or if I did, it took me much longer. I was sensitive to those around me, even if they were toxic.

I have always had hard time letting them go .

It’s a very strange way how the elimination process goes. Often, we feel confused and even scared when some of our friendships die.

I also thought that friendships are the more sacred unions one can have in life. They enrich us, and because of that, we must keep them and maintain them in our lives. There is some old proverb, “How many friends you have shows your worth.”

Our confusion is even worse when we have to say goodbye to people once we have had a very strong connection. We shared everything with them, our thoughts, our fears, our life challenges.Then suddenly, we realise that we can’t be in this blessed union any longer, because we understand that we have changed. We can’t grow any more in this relationship.

There also comes a period in life when is very important to find some space just for ourselves.

I am kind of person who is always giving. And when we are like this, we have problems with setting up healthy boundaries.

Well, I am setting them up now.

I choose not to engage anymore with people I do not resonate in a deeper way of thinking, in terms of living my life and my choice of fundamental values.

I have set some boundaries, and I am proud of myself.

I never had lots of friends. Too many is overwhelming. I have kept meaningful childhood friends. Our friendships are alive, even though we live differently now. I would rather have one close friend then lots of superficial ones.

Friendships that do not serve for the highest good for both the parties draw all of our energy from our bodies.

After a period of trials and guilty feelings, I found that I am feeling better now. I have more energy, peace, and contentment in my life. I have plenty of time now for myself, and I am learning to let go of my fears and insecurities. I had fears of being alone. Now, I am trying to see what life will bring to me.

I’ve learned to be my own best friend. I have more time to do things I really enjoy. I am doing things that bring me contentment, instead of doing something that I am not interested in.

Solitude can be scary sometimes. Perhaps,we tend to connect it with loneliness.I do it too. Yet if we think deeply, we notice the beautiful gifts given to us.

We may take the time to explore who we are, to try to connect with our true ourselves, to begin a powerful process of self discovery, and to see with fresh eyes who we truly are.

We can start to listen to our intuition, to our needs of body and soul, to begin to love ourselves. Isn’t this a huge gift that we can give to ourselves? Instead of being in company that exhausts our energy or positivity and faith in our lives, we may love ourselves, grow, and find true joy.

Marija Bašić, Elephant Academy Apprentice

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