Browse Front PageShare Your Idea

Are You In A Relation$#it?

0 Heart it! Tyler Tolman 35
September 12, 2018
Tyler Tolman
0 Heart it! 35

Did I just say relationshit? ?

You know what? I think all of us have actually been in some form of what I call a relationshit at some point in our lives.

A relationshit is being in a relationship that is dysfunctional, where we’re constantly blaming the other person, not feeling good about things and constantly getting stressed out. It becomes really tough even to be in the same room at times.

And I’m not saying you’re not going to have issues like this in your relationship. But if it gets too much, I think it’s really important to reassess.

I believe the relationship we have with ourselves is a massive reflection of what we project and experience in our outside world. For example, if I’m pointing a finger and saying, “oh that persons an asshole”, or “she’s a whatever”, – there’s always three fingers pointing back at me.
The importance of gut health on your relationships
Now I know that gut health has a very clear distinction on what’s happening in the brain as well. There’s a really good TED talk video called The Fasting Brain, and how we can change the gut ecology. When you’re constipated (and actually full of shit), or you don’t have the right bacterial ecology, your body’s not producing the right types of hormones and you’re not getting the right types of nutrition.

Maybe you’re eating the wrong things or maybe you’re not exercising, and you’re somewhat out of balance.

I know personally, when we’re out of balance and we don’t feel like we’re doing what we’re meant to be doing for our own health, we tend to not feel good. We tend to think, “Oh, I shouldn’t have eaten that food, I need to exercise more”, and we really start to beat ourselves up. We don’t feel good about it.

Then when people come around us, we tend to just have a chip on our shoulder. It’s easier to just get into a relationshit and create stress.

So if you cleanse your digestive system and “clean your clacker” (I mean literally do a colon cleanse), you’ll feel lighter, brighter, have more energy, and yes many times I hear from my customers saying it feels like all of a sudden their relationships are more connected. Cleaning the digestive system out and eating foods that are fresh and full of life can make such a difference.

Back in ancient times, literally the word “fruit” means “joy”. Fruit means to add life and to add joy. So eating more fruit can add more joy in your life.

The word “vegetable” means to “strengthen”. So when we eat fruits and vegetables we feel strong, we experiencing more joy, and I believe that becomes a reflection in our relationships with the people closest to us.

Now I can say this from experience, because I’ve met couples that have had really bad relationships. They’ve come to my programs and have learned about relationships, but they’ve also fasted and started to change their lifestyles. I honestly think that’s the major thing that shifted for them, where all of a sudden they felt connected, they loved each other, they were not arguing as much and their relationship really prospered.
My best tip for improving your relationship
I have one tip I want to share that I feel is really profound for improving your relationship.

I’ve been in a beautiful relationship for 10 years, and I know this simple thing works.

Before you leave every single day to go to work, make your partner number one for that last minute. Go and find your partner and say, “Hey babe I love you, you’re beautiful, you’re number one, I can’t wait to get home tonight and spend time with you. I’m going to go out and do my best to make some money. I love you, I’m going to miss you, muah”. And then you go.

For guys doing this, your partner is going to feel loved, appreciated and like she can’t wait for you to come home. She’s going to get herself all ready waiting for you. You understand what I’m saying?!

Because sometimes we forget. Especially men. We get caught up in what we’re doing. You head off to work and you don’t acknowledge your own wife. She starts to feel like you’re not acknowledging her or recognizing her, and this goes both ways. Sometimes it’s the other way around.

So when you simply have that acknowledgement it changes everything. When you don’t have the acknowledgement and they don’t feel appreciated, you come home and there’s already an edge there. So before you leave the house, find your partner, acknowledge them and give them love.

Give them a hug, touch them, kiss them, tell them you love them, tell them how beautiful they are. Even if they’re just out of bed and they look horrible. Say I love you and you’re beautiful.
I promise you this will improve your relationship.
Whenever you come home, go and search out your wife or partner first. Say, “Babe I missed you, I love you”, and at least tell them a little bit about your day. It’s going to show them that you really care.

I believe just those two things, the last minute before you leave and the first minute when you get home, will connect you with your partner it will change your life. If you just get home from work, sit on the couch, grab yourself a beer and start watching some TV, she feels unappreciated.


These simple little practices can avoid so much stuff in our relationships. They keep us happy, healthy and loving each other.

Browse Front PageShare Your Idea
0 Heart it! Tyler Tolman 35
0 Heart it! 35

Read Elephant’s Best Articles of the Week here.
Readers voted with your hearts, comments, views, and shares:
Click here to see which Writers & Issues Won.