Discovering the Truth About Life.

Guidance, particularly divine guidance, is a blessing we often take for granted or ignore but recently, I was reminded of its power and its importance.

I was guided to Google one of my lecturers from university who had passed away in 2009. I didn’t why or what I would find but the result opened my eyes to the truth of life.

In mid-2009, while pregnant with my daughter, my mother called to say Vicki, one of my university lecturers (and honours supervisor) had died. I was shocked, as on the outside, Vicki seemed so full of life and with two young children, had so much to live for. Try as I might at the time, I couldn’t find out what had taken the life of this wonderful woman, leaving two young children without their mother. I discovered the answer after nine years.

Through the power of divine guidance and knowing enough to trust the breadcrumbs of information coming my way, I found an obituary written by Vicki’s brother. In it, was the reason for her death. A reason, I would never have considered… there on the screen in front of me, I discovered my former guide had suffered from schizophrenia and had chosen to end her own life.

It is no coincidence to me that I had been remembering Vicki right before I was guided to search for information on her death. I had been remembering the first time I met her in a Sports Psychology lecture and thinking how strange she was. I had been remembering how, two years later, I watched her in her element in her classes on yoga and mind-body exercise. It was the first time I had ever seen somebody truly within their zone of genius. Then I remembered as I was preparing for my honours degree, the conversations we had on painkillers, medication and Vicki being concerned about her pregnancy preventing her from being there when I needed her.

At the time, I saw Vicki as a kind, loving, sweet, caring, compassionate soul who was a bit ‘out there’. She had a uniqueness that was magical. It is only now, in the light of her condition, that certain elements make sense – the spaciness, the eccentric nature of her classes, her concerns about how pregnancy would affect her. It is only now that I understand. Pregnancy would have meant coming off her medication and according to Vicki’s brother’s tribute to her, it was her perspective on conventional treatment that eventually led to her passing.

As I read this, one thing popped into my mind – she did this for her children.

Vicki’s gentle and caring nature meant that she wouldn’t have wanted her children to suffer and she would have been concerned that she may be lead to hurt them. This would have been far too much for her to bear. While many disapprove of suicide, I understand why this would have seemed like the right choice. It would have been her way of making sure the memories her children held of her were happy ones.

For me, I will never forget Vicki. She was amazing and I attribute my path and my success to her. Much of what I use in my business and life is based on what I learned in her classes. Vicki is the reason I have spent 17 years studying chakras, yoga, reiki, auras and energy healing. She is the reason I work as an intuitive. I am forever grateful that I was lucky enough to be blessed with knowing her.

In understanding her passing, my eyes have been opened to the truth of life.

Life is here to be lived. Too often we sit around wishing and hoping for things to change and yet the only way change can happen is if we stand up and make it happen. Life is to be lived our own way, not by someone else’s definition but our own.

Too often, we fear death. We are afraid of the finality of it and afraid of regretting the things we didn’t do. But death isn’t to be fear for it is simply another chapter in our journey. What we fear is that we have failed to live fully.

When we fully live, our lives are filled with people and activities that make our hearts sing. We live knowing we are leaving behind a unique legacy. We live knowing we have worked towards our goals and the things that made us happy.

By discovering the truth about Vicki’s passing, I’ve discovered the truth about my life – I am not letting it pass by. I choose to live in love, to live with passion and to live fully so that when it comes time to surrender my physical body, I will know my life was lived and lived in love and happiness.

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