Gold Dust – An Ode to First Loves. {poem}

Everyone remembers their first love. That first love where you feel like it’s the only thing in the world that matters. The feeling of being together. Forever. Some may call it puppy love. A simple infatuation as the feeling of true love blankets your being.

My first love happened when I was 17 years old. A senior in high school. I met the man of my dreams. Dylan. We worked at a pizza and pasta joint, Old Chicago. He was 22. I was infatuated. An older, handsome boy who looked at me like nothing else in the world mattered. I remember our first Christmas together. He bought me a beautiful ring and told me he loved me. I melted into his arms.

We spent every waking moment together. We shared common interests. We went on snowboard and skateboard dates. Every Tuesday evening, we would go out to fancy dinners. We would take trips in to the city to visit his family. We went on road trips together. To concerts together. Anything and everything, we were joined at the hip. Exploring what the world had to offer one day at a time.

It came the time for me to turn 18 and we had a plan to move in together. There was a mutual friend through Old Chicago who informed us of a one bedroom lock off in the town of Dillon, Colorado. It was right across the street from the lake. It was a dream come true.

On my 18th birthday, we went skydiving together with my father. It happened to be Father’s Day as well. It was one of the most memorable days in my life. Everything was perfect.

Soon after we moved in together, we adopted a puppy. We were one little happy family. He served as a safe zone for me. My family had been falling apart for years and my parents were on the brink of a divorce now that my brother and I were 18 and out. He provided me the comfort of knowing someone cared. This was it. This was my forever.

After about a year, we moved from one town to the next. Now living in Breckenridge, Colorado with our dog, Achilles and a few mutual friends. We had been together for almost two years at this point. We were each other’s worlds. Until, the fights began. The ups, the downs. The desire to grow on my own and find my way. He wanted to settle down to have a family, I wanted to be free. Our paths soon grew apart and it was the worst heart ache I have ever experienced. My first love, falling away from finger tips. It was a never ending emotional roller coaster. The yin and the yang. The good and the bad. The love and the hate. The ending was coming to a beautifully painful first lost love.

I have once held pure gold

With this element clutched

All love as I had known

Lost its meaning

Suddenly, I was thrust towards the stars

Forced to view the weight in true form

From the outside

Stepping lightly on the edge of a feathers hair

So as not to disturb shape

The same timeless motion as wind flowing

Softly through tree limbs of fall leaves

I am lost.

The weight of this element became too much to bear

Changing right before my eyes

To sand that slipped through my fingers

Nichole Mason, Elephant Academy Apprentice

Comments