Love means the ability to let go

“When we die we take nothing with us, attachment is selfish and destructive. For those you love it is your duty to love selflessly- cultivating for them the chance to live life to their utmost ability. “      -Kandee Jo

In our society possessing things has become the main focus of many. We have become so fixated on keeping things that this mentality of ownership has spilled over onto our definition of love. The desire to hold onto others without allowing them the freedom to be who they are is toxic and harmful to everyone, including yourself. In our attempt to hang on we suppress and stifle those we are with and we cause ourselves pain when the ones we love decide to leave. This is not love, this is lust.

When you choose to love a person it is your job to cultivate a freeing environment where they can simply be who they are. Your time spent together is truly appreciated and enjoyed but if a time comes when the other wants to leave, our urge to control them should subside if we truly love who the other person is.

When someone keeps a bird in a cage they enjoy the time spent with their pet. No matter how well taken care of, loved for, and affection shown back to the owner, the bird, if given the choice will still fly out into the world. Should we think the bird is selfish for flying away? Or is it selfish of us for wanting to keep something in order to make us happy?

Many tend to tighten their grip and give in to the desires of attachment when losing others. Instead we should be thankful for the memories and the lessons we have learned from the time spent with them. Even though letting go can be painful if we are willing to see the positive sides then we will learn that allowing others to simply be who they are while we are allowed to be as we are is the correct and healthy way to truly love someone. Love does not equal attachment. Love equals freedom.

Kandee Jo

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